What's With The Waterworks?

Last night I FINALLY received my practice CD for the play. There are a few songs I have to sing but one is a solo/duet. I think it is important for me to get a little bit of time to rehearse it too.

What's with the waterworks in this play????????

The song starts as my character is listening to the radio. She and her father have just had a discussion about life, loss, love, and moving on. Then her pop goes off to bed and she turns up the radio again to hear Miss Stella Ashton singing "Everytime I Turn Around".

My character is already missing her husband after not seeing him for five months. He was supposed to try and be home for Thanksgiving. Didn't happen. The Christmas season has begun and she's not sure he'll make it home then either. The thought of a Christmas without him is just tearing her apart.

Then the song comes on.

It's one of those old crooning songs. The words speak of seeing reminders of him from the ceiling to the ground, everytime she turns around - a favorite book, his hat, the footfalls on the stairs, his laugh, his smile.

Once again, when I think about my character I can't help but just have tears welling up in my eyes at the hurt she feels. The song is very powerful. What the heck am I going to do if I start crying during the song at performance time?

I mean, we just finished a difficult walk down memory lane that makes me tear up. I'm already going to feel emotional and sniffly (won't that sound great in the microphones) and then I'm supposed to sing a song with an already only halfway there voice?

This is not going to be pretty.

Maybe I've let my head get too deep into this story. Maybe I need to not think about it so much. Okay, I know there's no way I can do a play without immersing myself into it completely. Never was able to do ANYTHING halfway - why start now?

Just remember - if you come I've already warned you.

Enough Said

Well we finished up with the first run-through of the final scene tonight.

Gosh, I tear up easy during this thing - even if it is only rehearsals!

The final scene encompasses some sad goodbyes, letting go of dreams, and accepting the hard spots in life even when we don't understand why God allows them. The sister to my character has to say goodbye to a man she didn't realize she loved until he was gone - off to war. My character gets a telegram from the war department.

Enough said.

But even in the midst of the sadness and fear of the unknown, a ray of sunshine comes strolling in.

I'll leave it at that.

For those of you in the area, you're just going to have to take time out of your busy schedules the first weekend of December to come and see how it all turns out. Yes, Brian, it is in a church but this isn't heavy-handed. It has some very real moments that relate to what we see on the news even today.

And it even bears relavance to the world where it was 2,000 years ago. Humanity - we've changed so little in our years on this earth.

Enough said.

Cattle Prods and Casting Calls

Oh boy - next week we're supposed to be off book for ongoing play rehearsals.

I'm not even near ready.

In years past, I was a very quick memorizer (is that a word?). I'd pick up on lines very quickly and even knew everyone else's lines too. This evening I did okay on my lines but it's the lead-in line that is still getting to me.

My brain just doesn't have the capacity it once had. And no, don't you dare say it is age talking. Seems to me it is being out of practice with learning how to memorize.

Why can't I get this? It's frustrating the living tar out of me that I haven't memorized the entire thing in just two weeks.

Am I expecting too much? Ya think?

Okay, I'm not the living, breathing, walking computer brain I once was, but there's still got to be a better way to get all of this in my head. How did I used to do this? I just cannot remember doing anything other than reading through a script over and over and then reading it out loud to myself.

One of the ladies this evening said she tapes herself reading the entire script with blank places where she's supposed to say her lines. Then she burns it on a CD and takes it with her everywhere she goes to play it over and over and over again. That way she gets away from the book and HAS to get her line in during the silent sections.

Maybe it's going to take doing something new like that. I don't know, but I'm getting a little stressed about being able to handle all of this. Deep breaths - shake it off.

It will come. It's just going to be a little slower than it used to be. It isn't like I'm going to be electrocuted with a cattle prod if I don't get my lines correct.

Hmmm, wouldn't put it past Ruth to try something drastic when you get right down to it.

R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.

Tonight was my son's first choir performance of his sophomore year.

If I may use an 80's lingo - it was AWESOME!

One of the numbers his class did just about brought down the house. They sang "Do You Love Me" and at the beginning my son had a speaking solo part. He rocked it out. It was completely obvious that he had fun with that one.

Alot of the music they did was from the 80's era - I loved every minute of it! So up my alley, as well as alot of other parents too, I'm sure. They did "Freeze Frame" a song I'd completely forgotten about. They jazzed it up with these glow in the dark gloves and these big glow-in-the-dark rubber bands that they had attached to their hands and feet and they framed themselves in it. Totally cool (totally!).

Sorry, I just had a Valley Girl moment there.

The newer parents were just in awe of the performance. I told some of them to wait until the end of the year review. That will completely knock their socks off.

Mr. Engels, once again you have completely outdone yourself.

I can hardly wait to see what's next!

Caesar, Take A Holiday

Tonight we received the packet of information on my son's trip to Europe next summer.

It also had the payment notices once again and the balance due. Ouch!

For awhile I was stressing about all the upcoming expenses and the upcoming large payment due for this trip. I've got the next payment due the middle of November, then we're celebrating the big family Thanksgiving. There's Christmas coming and then the unknown of the first half of my property taxes due on my new house. Not sure what to expect there.

About a month ago, I quit worrying about it. It's going to work out even if I have to put a little bit on my credit card when it's all said and done. Now those of you who know me pretty well know that I'm not a big fan of debt, especially credit card debt. But over the years, I've learned to let go of my fears of my credit card getting out of control. Having a credit card can be a good thing as long as the credit is working for you not you merely working for it.

But this trip is far too important. Even if I end up putting a bit on my credit card, it will all be worth it in the end. So I end up making a few months payments on it after the final installment. I've been through worse before. I know I'm capable of managing it and paying it off very quickly. Besides the idea is just an idea at this point. Doesn't mean I'll end up having to put something on my credit card. I just had to get comfortable with the idea and stop worrying.

Now I can enjoy the prospects of the upcoming holidays, the trip installment, and my property taxes (say what???).

Well taxes aren't my idea of something to celebrate and ENJOY - but then we are to render to Caesar what is Caesar's.

Just wish Caesar would take a holiday right about now.

A Sad Goodbye

Well - I said goodbye to my critique group tonight.

It's only for a little while and then I'll be back tearing up the pages again. I can hear the sarcastic, "oh goodies" already.

Really hated parting from the group, and even though I think I'm Wonder Woman some days, I just can't do it all. This play is a real opportunity to reconnect to something I thought I'd probably never do again. It's feeling so great too!

Being away from home four nights in a row is just too much for me. The house is looking pretty garish right now too, but once again it will pass. At least I have Monday off of work for Columbus Day! Maybe I'll find some time to work on my lines - ya think?

Writing is also a deep part of my soul, but the well has been very dry in that regard. When singing disappeared for me, writing filled that empty place. I am the type of person that desperately needs a creative outlet.

My son even noticed something and voiced it last night. He observed that even though I'm kinda tired and sit around the house a little bit more when I'm home, he thought that I really seemed happy to be doing the play.

He's right, you know.

So to my writing buddies - I'll miss you alot over the next two months. Please continue to keep me included in your submissions so I can keep up on the stories you're writing for when I come back. If I find a Thursday when I'm a bundle of energy and just can't contain myself, I'll sneak into Borders and surprise you!

Otherwise I expect to see you one of the play production nights at my church.

Oh, and Brian - at least I have the decency to show up at my temporary break up fest. Was it that hard on you?

He'll understand. :-) Take care, y'all!

Let The Tears Flow

Tonight was the rehearsal with the very poignant scene. I almost teared up twice.

The older gentleman I play opposite has done several big roles in our church's productions. He's played Jesus in our Easter productions while I've played the younger Mary. He's played kingly roles while I've sung in the choir or danced. We've done alot together over the years.

This is the first time we've had the chance to portray roles actually with each other. He plays the father to my character. His wife died 24 years ago during the Great War (aka WWI) while my character lost a mother and became the family caretaker at a young age.

In the scene, they're sitting together on the sofa late at night - she staying up too late to listen to her husband's favorite radio show, he raiding leftover turkey from the fridge. The father gets his daughter to open up about her fears of her husband not returning home. Her questions jar his memories and they take a walk back to a better, more happier time.

Sometimes the memories hurt. Sometimes they laugh. But all in all, the memories, regardless of the emotion they dredge up, are good to remember.

We really got into this scene and enjoyed just letting it flow. I have a feeling that when we get our lines down pat, it might just feel completely natural to let a few tears rise to the surface. Sure hope we can get comfortable enough to allow for the possibility and not let our nerves get the best of us come production evenings. Truly is a beautiful scene.

You know, I'm really honored to be a part of this production.

Christmas Crazy!

This past week I've made an enormous dent in my Christmas shopping.

Yes, I'm one of THOSE people.

Typically I start my Christmas shopping at the inventory clearance sales in January. Got started a little late this year. Bought my first Christmas gift at the Hotel del Coronado in June when the team and I were out in San Diego for meetings. It was for my mom - she's going to LOVE IT!

Anyway, I picked up a piece of my dad's gift about a month after that. Hadn't done a thing since then. Life has been so crazy with the new job, keeping my son afloat, getting him started in school, his sixteenth birthday, school activities, and now my crazy idea to audition for the Christmas play at church. It just can't get any busier than this right now.

Did I mention that I'm still taking my son out driving - oh, and he's getting a job soon. Oy!

Last weekend when my mom and dad were here for my son's birthday, I commandeered my mother and we went Christmas shopping and looking around for ideas. My strong-arm tactics started to make headway with my sisters and I got some good ideas to work with. So from then through today, I've made a substantial dent in my Christmas shopping.

Can you say bargains??? Sure you can. Man, I just found some of the best deals today at Bed, Bath & Beyond! They have all sorts of stuff marked down to practically nothing. Picked up a Cuisinart rice/food steamer that was normally $80. Got it for next to nothing only because the box had a tear in one silly corner. That's all that was "wrong" with the crazy thing and they clearanced it for pennies on the dollar. Got a foot massager for my sister for a few bucks. Talk about bargain shopping! Can't even begin to run through all the incredible deals I came across. My pocketbook may be a little lighter, but it is still happy.

I only have four more gifts to purchase for extended family and then I'm done along that avenue. Of course my son found some things at BB&B that he wanted too. Need to go back later when he's not in tow and pick those up. Still far from being finished in the venue for my son but at least I've got the process started.

My favorite four-letter words have always been "sale" and "free". Can we classify "clearance" as a four-letter word? Who cares - it's my mantra so far for this year.

Happy Christmas shopping, everyone!

A Glimmer of Light

I almost fell out of my chair last night.

For the last several years, my son has been lazy and uninterested when it comes to his school work. The kid is bright and intelligent, but he kinda skipped out on life for awhile. Life was a bit hard and he struggled in many areas. A glimmer of light began to show through toward the end of school last year.

I had high hopes for this year.

So far it has sounded like things have gone pretty well. He's mentioned a couple of geometry tests he's aced, interesting topics in modern world history, and other interesting components in his classes.

All sounds well - but I was still feeling a bit keyed up and nervous. I didn't want to look at his grades online and once again feel so at a loss for how to help him or what to do or angry that he was squandering the incredible talent God had given him.

Last night I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. We're getting close to mid-semester and if he was faltering in any classes, he'd still have time to turn things around if I got ahold of him soon enough. What was the picture going to look like? I was dreading another confrontation.

When the grades screen popped up, I was so pleasantly pleased. A's and B's. We're not just talking he's barely squeaking by either - these are solid grades in the mid to upper ranges. He's acing geometry and biology, among others. Wow! My buttons just about popped off my blouse.

This morning I told him I'd checked his grades. He didn't even look scared or like he was about to get verbally creamed. He already knew he was doing good just by the daily work accomplishments. My son even mentioned how it all seems to be sinking in and he's able to recall most of it.

I told him he should be very proud of himself. I know I am. Just hope it lasts.

I have a feeling that this time it just might. That is if my son has anything to do with it.

Maid Service Please!

Wow - first night home this week without something to do of an evening.

I'm loving it!

The week has been a little bit hard. Woke up yesterday morning, went into the kitchen to cook breakfast and about had a heart attack. The dishes were piled in the sink and spilling over the countertops. I'd washed a load of dishes Sunday afternoon and started to put them away Sunday night, but somewhere along the way I hadn't completed it.

Hence the dishes all over my counters.

While breakfast cooked yesterday morning, I quickly finished emptying the dishwasher and then proceeded to load her up once again. Started a fresh load before leaving for work. Emptied it out this morning. At least my countertops are clear again.

I'm finding that having my Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings all filled up with practices is leading to a bit of heartburn at home. I've become so used to having time in the evenings for chores here and there and working out on my treadmill. But for the next seven weeks I'm just going to have to learn a new routine and be sure to keep up on the weekends. It isn't going to hurt to leave a few things hanging during the beginning of the week since I'll have Thursdays to play a little catch up.

Then of course, there's always the live in maid - namely my son. :-) He does such a good job with his chores and never gripes when I give him something to do. I don't think I'll take advantage of him though. It's just something I'll have to deal with when I can.

This too shall pass.