Through Troubled Waters

While I've been awaiting the arrival of my temporary license, I've been busily working on preparations for my son's approaching high school graduation.

As part of that day's events, I've planned a DVD montage of his life replete with pictures, music, and fun. One of the songs I'm using will be from his State Choir CD - rather gratuitous, I realize, but the song is spectacular and fits the mood of the particular pictures in that segment.

The prep time has been quite the journey for me. I've laughed and cried, remembering the good times and bad, as I've perused a lifetime of pictures. But the reminiscing has been quite interesting.

See the tears aren't so much for the pain of the hard times but the joy of knowing that my son has truly made it THROUGH those times. He's not stuck in a mire of pain and bitter memories but has learned so many valuable lessons that only the difficulties of life can teach.

Then when I look at all he's accomplished thus far, in his short eighteen years, it makes this momentous occasion that much sweeter. It gives both him and me great hope for his future endeavors. It is a balm of peace that God is still in control through the tough times and that He still leads us through and beyond them to greater life on the other side.

My pastor once talked about the song of the "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" and how that was a misnomer. A bridge implies that God keeps us over or out of the troubles of this life, but that is by far incorrect. He is not our bridge over troubled waters but our submarine through them.

Jesus promised that in this world we would have trouble, but that He has overcome the world. Therefore we have hope through the difficulties of life.

It is a beautiful thing to see that my son has been through life's troubles thus far and has made it through with his faith intact. There are struggles that await him in the future - of that, I'm certain, but I also have hope that he has the foundation in place to make it through those as well.

But let's just get through graduation first.

Sharing the Experiences

I'm so conflicted!

Part jealousy and part pride - yes, my baby boy once again.

All my life, I've wanted to sing the National Anthem before an event and never have had the opportunity to do so. Yesterday, amidst the threat and turmoil of bad weather, my son was invited to sing the National Anthem before the start of a soccer game. Once again, he did AWESOME.

Sorry, Valley Girl moment again - the eighties are coming back, you know. But I digress.

Beforehand he was rather nervous, but after doing such a fabulous job he wished he'd have volunteered to sing it for sporting events throughout the school year. The choir has sung it several times during the basketball season, but otherwise they typically get the canned CD offering.

There's something to be said about the live version though.

So as part of remembering these senior year moments, I had to show up and take pictures. I'm putting together a little montage of his life for his graduation and decided to include this moment in the mix. That's part of the pride thing there, don't you know.

So enjoy more pictures of milestones in my son's life. At least I get to share in the experiences. :-)

Posting Pics

End of the school year for my son is quickly winding up.

Only to eventually wind down, but that is beside the point at present.

Tonight I'm posting a few pictures of his State Choir participation. This week he also had his annual Black and Gold concert, where his music director presented him with his State Choir award plaque.

Today he also officially received his letter of acceptance to his chosen college this fall. Now we've got to get busy with registration.

Graduation announcements finally arrived also and I'm putting together the final list of those to whom we'll send a formal announcement and invite to his post-graduation party.

That's what the wedding catering funds are being utilized for. Once again, method to the madness, dearie.

So enjoy the pictures from a proud mother. Remember mine's the one with the beard. :-)

Fond Farewell

Tomorrow is it - the big day.

The last day.

Yes, tomorrow is my final day of cosmetology school. It feels almost surreal. I've been so busy lately that I have hardly had time to process it all. Plus the last few days I've been preparing an enormous meal for 150 people.

I'm catering a wedding dinner for a friend for a little extra cash. Hey, I'm an entrepreneur now, remember?

Being so busy has also helped the time go by quickly. From the little bit of buzz I've been picking up at school this week, sounds like there may be a little send-off from the gang.

Yes, I'll probably cry a bit.

These months I've shared alot with these girls and guys - their heartaches and joys, losses and gains - that it is hard not to be sad in a way. Likely I will never see them again after this.

But yet I'll also be running off and starting employment in the next few weeks once I get my temporary license. Then it is off to Topeka to take my practical exam and obtain my full-fledged license. After a few years of working hard, hopefully I'll get to open up that long-dreamed-of salon.

In the meantime, I'll savor my last few hours with the girls tomorrow. Let us eat cake!

Nine Months Down

Check off another milestone in nine months of my schooling.

Today I completed the remainder of my final tests in anticipation of my graduation next week from cosmetology school. After having already completed and passed my State Board written examination, it almost seemed redundant.

But I still aced it!

It seems so strange to think that nine months ago I started this journey. Now it is nearly complete. At first, it felt as if the idea of nine months was going to drag on and on forever. At this stage, it seems almost surreal that I'm almost done. However, this week things have begun to drag again in anticipation of that 1,500 hours mark.

Gee, I wonder what next week will feel like???

Monday and Tuesday I'll be putting in whole days (booked solid, by the way). Wednesday morning I'll put in two and ahalf hours. Then it is off to packing up my stuff and loading up the bus.

Several girls have already gotten a little teary-eyed when we start talking about next week. Others keep saying they wonder how it will feel when I'm no longer there.

Hopefully it will give them incentive to make it to class everyday so they too can be missed soon.

For me, I'll be off tackling that first job in my chosen field. Then onto my future dreams of salon ownership.

Can hardly wait!

After all, look how quickly nine months have passed.

A Sweet Refrain

I'm so proud of my son!

That seems to be a common refrain of late. :-)

Today we received the first confirmation of a scholarship to his chosen college. The vocal music scholarship is now officially in the bag. He's very pleased.

I'm so excited - and relieved.

For years I've had funds set aside to help him with college. Not much, but something to assist him so that he doesn't have to live the first ten years post-college saddled with a bunch of debt. However, during these last few years of layoffs and my own school endeavors, the kettle has become quite dry and depleted.

So this scholarship is a HUGE answer to prayer, as it covers all of his tuition and books. There will also be some fees, food, and gas money to consider, but he still has his small savings that I set up for him a long time ago. When he used to get an allowance, he was required to save half of it and then he could spend the other half as he saw fit.

That's where most of his Legos came from. Once he realized the value of a dollar, he'd save his spending money until he had enough to buy something for his collection.

Over the years he's socked away about a thousand dollars. That, plus his small academic scholarship and (hopefully) a small local business scholarship that he's writing an essay for during spring break, will cover the additional fees and give him some spending money for food and gas. Thank God we live close enough that he'll be able to commute and save on living expenses.

The only thing I keep thinking about is how guilty I'll feel if he gets the other scholarship as well. Then he has to turn one down. Ouch!

Oh well - life is about the choices we make, even when those choices are a bit difficult. The choices we make will hopefully make each of us a better person in the end.

I know that's the case for my son.

Hair in My Pudding

Even though the past two months have been enough to make me go bald, the good keeps on getting better.

Monday night I arrived home from school exhausted, more than tired, and feeling just plain ill. Then my son piped up, "Hey, Mom! I have to be down at the Board of Education meeting at 6:30 tonight."

Huh? When have we ever attended a BOE meeting, much less been invited?

Turns out my son was being honored by our local BOE for being in State Choir. Imagine that! He received a certificate and will have his picture in the local paper.

Not too bad of pickings for a quiet kid from a single parent household.

The last few weeks I've come to realize - this is what can happen when a parent puts aside themselves for the sake of their children. For eighteen years now I have placed my son's needs ahead of my own.

Yes, I've had "well-meaning" family, friends, and even a pastor tell me they thought I've been wrong not to remarry. Now all I can say is that the proof is in the pudding.

My son's successes are the pudding of my life.

Just hope I have hair left by the time he leaves the nest. :-)

One Big Thing Off My List

Today my son had two scholarship interviews with an area college.

The interviews are in two separate fields but could be worked together in his choice of careers. I expected we'd be there for a couple of hours.

We arrived just before noon and left just before 4:30. I'd say that means they went well, wouldn't you?

The first interview/audition was for a vocal music scholarship. The lead professor was quite busy rushing here and there getting a couple of ensembles finished up and ready to leave for a contest over the weekend. She managed to squeeze a good hour out of our time and was impressed with my son's ability and resume.

Then onto the second interview/audition for a radio/TV/film production scholarship that lasted from 1:30 to nearly 4:30. I think it is in the bag also - the professor pretty much told us so but couldn't officially tell us so, you know? Wink-wink!

The second was the one I was most nervous about. You see, my son has an incredible ability to film and edit all sorts of video scripts and stills and write his own work. Then he ties it all up with music and vocal overwriting (or whatever it is called) - and all of it is done with simple equipment and programs he has on his computer.

The other interesting thing about it is that he's had no formal training with any of it - he's virtually taught himself everything he knows over the last few years. The past few months he's been asked to put together lead-in videos and clips for church from youth outings and warm-ups to the youth sermon. A man at his church who owns his own production company has taken notice and worked with him a bit, even offering him use of some of his old equipment. This man is so impressed with my son's natural ability that he plans to hire him to work on some video projects for his company this summer.

The communications professor was also impressed with my son's ability. He's very excited about having him in the program next year. As I sat down the hall during their initial meeting, I was hopeful when I heard loud belly laughs - not once but multiple times - as they reviewed his prepared DVD. Then after being invited into the meeting, I knew it was going well when they both started spouting off at each other first in Scottish accents then flipping over to Irish.

My son will be completely in his element in that department.

So now the big question will be which scholarship he'll accept and which to turn down, since he can only accept one from the Fine Arts department.

It's a good problem to have.

And now that his scholarship auditions and interviews are complete, that means I can mark one enormous thing off of my March "to-do" list.

While he's off tonight setting up for his band's gig tomorrow. His "to-do" list keeps growing - and as a young adult that's as it should be.

Beware of the Ides of March

March is becoming crazier by the minute!

So if my looming graduation and employment search aren't heavy enough, let's see how much more we can toss into the heap.

My son has been frantic with scholarship applications/interviews/auditions. There's a few small, local scholarships that he's writing essays for, but the big ones are his vocal and video production auditions. Decisions will be made soon and we've got to find time to squeeze a few more opportunities into the schedule before they slip away.

Then there's trying to get my taxes done so that we can file for his FAFSA considerations before the April 1st deadline (don't you find it interesting that April Fool's Day is the deadline for financial aid considerations - hmmm). That's becoming quite an interesting bear in and of itself.

In order for me to be able to pay the bills and go to school at the same time, I've had to liquidate my investments and the majority of my retirement. Now comes the tax bill. Only once have I ever had to pay into State but never Federal. This year is changing that and scaring me to death.

But it's got to be done in order to have any hope of my son receiving grant money to help pay for college expenses in excess of scholarships. Now the question is how the tax man is going to get paid.

Another hurdle to overcome in this amazing year.

So with my graduation, my employment search, taxes due, my son's scholarship deadlines, FAFSA deadline, his graduation, etc., etc., etc., I'm really feeling the pressure this month.

Beware of the Ides of March!

Here's hoping I won't suffer the same fate as Caesar.

Spent Yet Satisfied

An enormously busy last few days is drawing to a satisfying close.

My son's KMEA State Choir performance was Saturday, the culmination of two full day rehearsals Thursday and Friday followed by a very early Saturday rehearsal and afternoon performance. I still have goosebumps and tears when thinking about it.

He has been blessed to have participated in many incredible choral performances these last few years, all of which offered a CD recording of the performances. I've never been that interested in purchasing any of the audio recordings.

Until now.

Dr. Craig Jessop (formally with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) led these hundreds of students from across the State of Kansas in one of the most incredible music performances I've had the pleasure to experience. My mom and I sat in awe from the first blaring notes of "Fanfare for a Festival" (one my son knows by heart) to the haunting strains of "Lux Aurumque" (fabulous soprano solo), the foot stomping (literally) rhythms of "Wade in de Water" ending with one of my all-time favorites of sacred music "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing". Every single song was wonderful, but these four stood out to me.

Each note and word held such power no matter how loud or soft. At times it was difficult to realize that these were high school kids and not professional musicians.

And my dear son was among them.

There were several songs where I could pick out his voice from among the throng, and only one song where he needed to utilize his sheet music (he's a quick study). Even though he was absolutely spent, he had such a joy in his demeanor after it was all over. How could one not in the midst of such circumstances?

I think it even spilled over into my own choir performance this morning - felt the grandeur and awe in every note of music played and sang. Many commented after service how incredible the music was, my Sunday School teacher even saying that if you weren't moved by this morning's worship services to just drive yourself to the funeral home because you must be dead.

I laughed.

But my son also inspired me by his incredible performance yesterday. So even though I was already tired from a very busy last few days, I gave all I had this morning. Now I'm spent too.

Yet thoroughly satisfied.