Sharing the Experiences

I'm so conflicted!

Part jealousy and part pride - yes, my baby boy once again.

All my life, I've wanted to sing the National Anthem before an event and never have had the opportunity to do so. Yesterday, amidst the threat and turmoil of bad weather, my son was invited to sing the National Anthem before the start of a soccer game. Once again, he did AWESOME.

Sorry, Valley Girl moment again - the eighties are coming back, you know. But I digress.

Beforehand he was rather nervous, but after doing such a fabulous job he wished he'd have volunteered to sing it for sporting events throughout the school year. The choir has sung it several times during the basketball season, but otherwise they typically get the canned CD offering.

There's something to be said about the live version though.

So as part of remembering these senior year moments, I had to show up and take pictures. I'm putting together a little montage of his life for his graduation and decided to include this moment in the mix. That's part of the pride thing there, don't you know.

So enjoy more pictures of milestones in my son's life. At least I get to share in the experiences. :-)

Spent Yet Satisfied

An enormously busy last few days is drawing to a satisfying close.

My son's KMEA State Choir performance was Saturday, the culmination of two full day rehearsals Thursday and Friday followed by a very early Saturday rehearsal and afternoon performance. I still have goosebumps and tears when thinking about it.

He has been blessed to have participated in many incredible choral performances these last few years, all of which offered a CD recording of the performances. I've never been that interested in purchasing any of the audio recordings.

Until now.

Dr. Craig Jessop (formally with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) led these hundreds of students from across the State of Kansas in one of the most incredible music performances I've had the pleasure to experience. My mom and I sat in awe from the first blaring notes of "Fanfare for a Festival" (one my son knows by heart) to the haunting strains of "Lux Aurumque" (fabulous soprano solo), the foot stomping (literally) rhythms of "Wade in de Water" ending with one of my all-time favorites of sacred music "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing". Every single song was wonderful, but these four stood out to me.

Each note and word held such power no matter how loud or soft. At times it was difficult to realize that these were high school kids and not professional musicians.

And my dear son was among them.

There were several songs where I could pick out his voice from among the throng, and only one song where he needed to utilize his sheet music (he's a quick study). Even though he was absolutely spent, he had such a joy in his demeanor after it was all over. How could one not in the midst of such circumstances?

I think it even spilled over into my own choir performance this morning - felt the grandeur and awe in every note of music played and sang. Many commented after service how incredible the music was, my Sunday School teacher even saying that if you weren't moved by this morning's worship services to just drive yourself to the funeral home because you must be dead.

I laughed.

But my son also inspired me by his incredible performance yesterday. So even though I was already tired from a very busy last few days, I gave all I had this morning. Now I'm spent too.

Yet thoroughly satisfied.

Riding the Whirlwind

The last few days have been a whirlwind.

Last November I wrote about my son making District Choir and being an alternate for State Choir, both of which are incredible honors and opportunities. District Choir was in early December before the season swept us away, while State Choir was scheduled for February. So February is almost gone and with it State Choir possibilities.

Or so we thought.

Wednesday night I arrived home from my own choir rehearsal to find a message from my son's high school choir director. A quick return phone call confirmed that a last minute cancellation had come in from (it just so happens) a first tenor. Come to find out, my son wasn't just a high alternate on the list but the first alternate on the list for a first tenor position. We started scrambling and were up until nearly midnight trying to get everything together.

Yesterday morning rehearsals began (thank God nearby) and went until late. This morning he left before 7:30 to get to the rehearsal venue and will be rehearsing throughout the day until 9:30 tonight. Then Saturday morning we go early again before their one o'clock performance that afternoon.

I'm about to burst at the seams for this kid. What an honor it is (and it doesn't hurt that this pretty much guarantees him an in-state scholarship). I've been telling practically anything that walks and breathes the last couple of days.

I also find it interesting that it just so happens the one student who has to cancel, also happens to be a first tenor, and that my son just happens to be the first alternate and that we are close enough that the last minute machinations don't really mess up our schedule. Do you believe in coincidence?

Me neither.

I've always told my son that when opportunities come we need to be ready to drop the things we're holding so we can grasp what God is handing out in that moment. Otherwise all too soon it will pass and we'll be left wondering, "what if?"

So give me the whirlwind. All we've gotta do when it passes by is grab and hold on tight.

Living A Full Life

So many wonderful things have taken place the last several months that at times I cannot believe they are happening. Makes me also wonder what God is up to. :-)

Last fall I had to make a difficult decision in my life, but since that time it seems God has opened up doorway after doorway and confirmed Himself all over again in the paths I'm walking.

Shortly after making said decision, I was asked to be a part of the praise team at my church. I've not had a place on the platform since 2000 due to having to back off of involvements to deal with life's difficulties and to be more available to my son during that time. Plus losing my voice capacity had a bit to do with it too. I've been back in choir now for five years with a new worship pastor but have maintained a background stance. Not sure what the catalyst was that prompted our worship pastor to take notice of me, but I'm so thankful he did because it feels absolutely incredible to be used once again in my heart's desire - music.

Then there was winning first place in the salon fair at my school, additional confirmation that I'm on the right track. The past month there have been so many situations where God has opened doors that have allowed me to share with a few of the girls at the school, one who fell away from Him in high school after the failings of their youth pastor were revealed. She and I have been talking extensively. I love being used by the Lord in such ways. It also shows me how this industry will allow me a front-row seat in God's arena.

Today my Sunday School leader asked me about sharing my testimony in class in a couple of weeks. Wow! Heavy load and I haven't shared like that in Lord knows how long. But my son is eighteen now and is living proof what a life sold out to God can accomplish even through the mistakes we make. My life has been dedicated to raising him and that part of my path-walk is rapidly drawing to a close.

So maybe the idea of opening my own salon is on the horizon. I'm still jiggling doorknobs in that regard to see if any are open at the present time. I'll walk through those doors as I can and share that journey with you as it develops.

My life feels very full at the moment - busy too! Makes me wonder what is coming up around the bend.

Happy Holy Terror Holidays

A busy weekend is fast approaching.

Today I've taken advantage of the first free weekend we've had in quite a while to get some things accomplished around the house and to relax and rest without being sick or running around sick.

I've also had alot of rehearsing to do.

For the last three plus weeks I've been fighting an extreme cold and laryngitis. During Thanksgiving, for four days I couldn't even talk - at all! Of course, my family was probably most grateful to Heaven above for a relatively quiet and unperturbed holiday. But I digress.

So just at the time I begin to get sick, my choir director asks me to sing a song with the choir for Christmas Eve services. I was also asked to sing praise team for last Sunday, of which I had to switch with someone since my voice was barely functional even then. I was also asked to do a reading again for Sunday the 19th.

Then Wednesday night at rehearsal (where I still could not sing but went anyway to listen and get down more music in my head at least), I discover that the Christmas Eve song I'm supposed to sing has been scheduled for Sunday the 19th. I've been listening to it since receiving the music but have not been able to actually sing it until today, though it is still only somewhat. What's more is that the Sunday I switched out last weekend with the fellow soprano was for the 19th.

So that means on Sunday the 19th for services I am doing a reading, praise team, and singing with the choir a song I have yet to be able to practice with them and the other soloist live and in person. We'll get to do that hopefully for the first time this coming Wednesday night at choir rehearsal.

Then Thursday morning my son informs me that his Christmas choir concert at school is scheduled for next Wednesday night. He's also doing something special for said concert so that means I have to be in two places at once.

Oh Happy Holy Terror Holidays indeed! I wish at the moment human cloning was legal.

So if next weekend isn't packed enough already, we're heading down to Oklahoma that Friday evening for a Christmas Open House for my parents' church and then our all family Christmas gathering on Saturday before heading back up here Saturday night for Sunday services. I pray my voice is fully recovered before then.

It may be a busy weekend, but as I said before I'm not turning aside any opportunities the Lord puts in my path.

There's got to be a reason for it somewhere...I hope. :-)

Bursting My Buttons

I am proud of my son.

As I wrote this past spring, my son asked a young lady to go to his junior prom with him. However, said young lady ended up accepting then canceling on him at the last minute, which fried my butt to no end.

But tonight I'm proud to write that that little fiasco, as painful as it was at that time, hasn't stopped him from getting up and trying again. This weekend is homecoming and he's invited a girl from school to go with him. They've been hanging out talking after their government class and choir, so he decided this past Monday to take a chance.

She accepted.

They've been planning where to eat beforehand, clothing coordination, etc. My son even asked when his next haircut was rescheduled for after having to move it from last weekend. He was relieved when I told him we were able to get him in for this Saturday morning.

Just in time.

He's also planned his wardrobe, coordinated directions with his date, and is going to clean his car - and all of this without my having to direct the efforts.

Wow! It sure is nice having a responsible young man in the house. :-)

So I'm looking forward to sitting back and watching him take care of it all. Of course, I hope I get a picture or two of them together before the night is through.

Knowing him, I'm sure he'll swing by after they go eat dinner. Kinda goes back to that responsible thing, you know? My buttons on my blouse are about to burst - with pride!

The Beginning of the End

Well tonight started the beginning of the end.

My son had his first choir performance of his last year of high school.

It's not a huge ordeal, just kinda a precursor to their opening choir concert at the school. This is an outside concert at our town's annual festival. Tonight was the kickoff of the opening weekend and all of the area schools participate in the live music throughout the evening. Plus there's carnival rides, games, food, festivities - what more could a young man and his mother ask for?

Sitting there at the park, it felt a bit surreal to realize that this is the last time he will be performing for the festival (unless he becomes a famous musician and is invited back to perform at one of the Friday or Saturday concerts - hey, it could happen). It still hasn't fully hit me that my baby boy is now a legal adult.

Oh help me, Lord!

But tonight it struck me for the first time that this is the beginning of a year that will disappear so rapidly, run off and leave if I don't pay attention. I don't plan to miss any of it.

Which made this evening all the more poignant, especially when he got up to sing his solo piece. It truly is the beginning of the end for this stage of his life.

And he can't wait to see what happens next.

Worship

Worship service was so amazing this morning!

Our church choir sang a variety of powerful songs this morning, all humming along the same theme - majesty and glory. Then to top it off, we sang the incredible octavo "Majesty of Glory of Your Name".

This was a piece I first was introduced to in my college choir. The incredible flowing beauty of the song quickly found its place in my heart, mind, and soul and has never left since.

Our church choir has brought it out from time-to-time in my adult years - not often enough for me, I must admit. Years pass between the opportunities to sing it. But each time we pull it out of the hallowed music library halls, I never need to look at the music score. It is so deeply ingrained in my heart and soul that it will never leave.

That's why I was so honored and blessed to be asked to recite a piece, written so long ago, as an introduction to today's lyrical offering - The Creation, by James Weldon Johnson. It is a brief descriptive of that moment so long ago when God's creative mind was on display as the universe came into being.

Tonight I went for an evening walk down the darkened pathways and just stared up into the clear blackened sky, spangled with the moon and stars. Even in the midst of a trying year, I felt the majesty of His presence in the deepening night, the words of the song this morning drifting over my mind once again.

And I worshiped.

Life Happens

Ah life - it has its moments.

The last two weeks I've been running around like a chicken on steroids. Been very busy and crazy, but I'm staying with it just fine.

Last week one of my employees was on vacation, so I put in an enormous number of extra hours. Then I am already serving on two committees with the new company and trying to get things up and running with the upcoming holidays within my own team.

Last night my son had his big huge opening concert and fundraiser. Quite a smash! There's some great talent this year, and I'm not just meaning my son.

But I went straight from the office to the school. Got home just after nine last night, but it was very satisfying.

Tonight we had our opening rally for a new product promotion. Went straight from the office to help with set-up and serving and games/activities. Got home just after eight-thirty.

Friday the promotion kicks off.

I'll just be glad to have an evening home tomorrow night. :-)

So I arrive home this evening to a quiet house, devoid of my son but full of two begging kitties vying for my attention. He went to church with a friend of his and they usually run out to the neighborhood Dairy Queen right afterward to hang.

It's kinda nice for me to have a little time to myself to unwind.

Wait - I think I hear him now. Life is back!

Stress and Trials (and Bears, Oh My)

Ah my fellow travelers - how I've missed turning the pages of a good yarn with you.

Life has been rather chaotic these last six weeks, what with the new job, my son starting his junior year of high school, etc.

He's been enormously busy with his choir group already. Our small town has an annual fall festival to celebrate our history and to just have some fun. The group sang at the festival on Thursday night. Then Friday they spent all day at an area university for their district choir workshops. Next week they will be having their annual fundraiser dinner and concert.

After that I don't remember.

New beginnings are always quite busy and a tad stressful. I'm seeing that my son's junior year has been quite a blessing for him, regardless of how busy he is. It's good to see him sacrificing a little of himself to be a part of something greater.

For me, I find myself in a teeny bit of a quandary. My old boss has given me some news that may or may not pan out. I've let him know that I'd be open to keeping in touch should things take a turn for the positive in that regard.

Not that I don't enjoy my new job - most of the people have been wonderful to work with and I've felt such a sense of camaraderie already with the majority of my team. The idea of leaving them is difficult to deal with at times. Maybe that won't happen.

But I really miss this group I worked with for more than ten years. We were more like a family in so many ways. I know I could get to that point again with this new company, but I don't know if I still possess the drive I once had to prove myself all over again. Forgotten what it's like and how much stress that entails.

Plus I ain't gettin' any younger.

Then again, I also miss writing and sharing in my blog. Funny how our priorities shift as we age, isn't it?

Gone

In just a few hours, my son will be landing in London, England. How I wish I could miraculously see his face on this trip and hear his voice singing.

This morning was a little emotional once again for me. Everything seemed fine until he got in the line to pass through the security checkpoint and onto the gate. He seemed a little nervous and out of sorts, so I tried to stay close by as long as I could. Just before he passed through, I gave him one more hug and reminded him to take full advantage of the gift he's been given.

Then he was gone.

I got one more glance at him as he passed on the other side of the pexi-glass. We smiled at each other and then did the double thumbs up. Tears sprang again into my eyes and I waved wildly.

It was time for me to leave.

The drive home was long. Last night was fitful for both of us - therefore, I felt completely drained and exhausted.

The phone has barely stopped ringing since I arrived home. His dad called again, thinking he was leaving tomorrow. I told him our son had thought of him and that he'd be gone for Father's Day and felt a little bad at the realization. The thoughts seemed to please his dad.

Thank you everyone for the prayers for his safety. It gives this old mom much needed comfort.

Emotional Bubblings

One more post before we head out this afternoon.

My worries concerning forgetting anything will dissipate tremendously once my son is on the plane. Figure if we forget any minor things here at home tonight then we can always stop by Wal-mart in Kansas City. But once he boards that plane there's nothing I can do.

The major players are good to go, tucked in his carryon. He's got his passport, driver's license, pounds, euros, and francs, the Visa cash card, and then a bit of U.S. cash stashed away in the neck pouch.

It almost cracked me up last night. Here we've been trying to get the ducks in a row concerning the foreign currency, that I completely neglected any U.S. dollars for snacks or goods while in the U.S. airports. Popped him a twenty for good measure. He's got the cash card too if anything should be needed, but I really don't want him using that while still on U.S. soil.

So many feelings and emotions are churning underneath the surface right now. They'll probably come bubbling up later, but for now the anxiety to cover all bases is what's driving me and eating away at the lining of my stomach.

One thing I'll have to carry me through the next few weeks is the memory of their send-off performance yesterday. The stringed orchestra sounded so incredibly lovely, but it was the joy on my son's face while he was singing in the middle of the front row risers that had me practically glowing.

I had to swallow so many tears as they welled up in my eyes. I can't tell you how proud I am of him right now nor the joy I feel at being able to give him this amazing opportunity. In just three short (no, make that long) days he's learned so much music and the group has come together to create a tremendous whole. Every single dime and headache has been worth it just to see that look on his face.

Now I hope all goes well. Off to Kansas City!

Feeling Frantic

Seems the closer we get to the send-off, the busier we're becoming.

Friday morning my son leaves for Europe, as if you didn't already know. Thursday we have to drive to Kansas City. Today he's finishing up his final day of rehearsals and having a big concert late this afternoon.

Last week I thought I had most everything taken care of. This week I feel like I'm running around like the proverbial chicken minus a head.

Thank God my son's Visa cash card came in yesterday! That alone was an enormous weight off my shoulders. After the concert today, we need to make ANOTHER trip to Wal-mart to pick up some last minute items.

I'm feeling quite broke at the moment, but this too shall pass.

Tonight is supposed to be church and choir rehearsal. For some reason I had the idea that we'd be able to make it. Now I'm not so sure. Instead of the "to-do" list getting shorter, it seems that for every one item I cross off, I add two new. The frantic feeling just won't go away.

I've a sense that even when my son steps on the plane, the frantics will stay with me.

Probably until his return.

Brainstorming Bonanza

Today there's been alot of back and forth emails flying among choir parents about fundraising ideas for the big New York trip next year. Figure since I'm available at the moment that I can at least assist with the brainstorming.

If there's a noticeable benefit to being unemployed right now it's that I actually have time to participate in my son's school activities. Now he may not see it as so much of a benefit, but while I'm able I'll do everything I can.

That's one thing I'm really good at - brainstorming that is. When the synapses are all firing I can come up with idea after idea. Someone else may have to execute it, but that's what delegating is all about. I know my limits.

But it made me feel good to get a ton of pats on the back from parents at the good and numerous ideas I threw out for fundraising. Feels so good to be a part even if it is only briefly.

Our little town has an annual event each September centered on our history. Usually falls around my son's birthday. We could do a booth and see if Ottaway Amusements would allow us a percentage of proceeds on all-you-can-ride night if we promote it as a fundraiser for the choir.

We also sit just on the other side of a county line - the side that allows for the good fireworks on Independence Day.

I always knew there had to be more perks to living out here than just the schools when we moved all those years ago. But I digress.

So the highway is usually lined with these enormous tents filled with legal explosives of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Figured we could check into the possibility of setting up a fireworks tent for the choir this summer.

When I was a little girl, our school always had a huge carnival in the fall. It was so much fun and garnered the entire town's attention for a night of fun. Perhaps we could do a carnival themed around Halloween.

Then in December our town puts on Christmas in the Park with a chili cook-off, sleigh rides, and the firemen even sponsor the bonfire where you can roast smores. Maybe they'd let the choir do a caroling concert in the park for donations or maybe sponsor the chili cook-off. There's time to think of something, but that would be a great way to support the choir and the community at the same time.

Then there's a golf, baseball, or basketball tournament perhaps. The possibilities are virtually endless. One can only hope participation will be too.

My ideas may be too involved or cumbersome. They may not even be utilized. But I'm just thrilled to take part in the discussion.

At least while it lasts.

Finding the Passion

Spring break is now sprung.

Yes, my son and I returned safely home Saturday night and he returned safely to school this morning.

They're getting ready for their Memphis trip and festival contest. Then it's regionals and state competition. This year they have enough guys in the various choirs at school that they are able to participate in state large group competition for the men's category. It was great hearing an entire choir of guys at their last concert!

My son also has two solos he's been preparing for competition and regionals. Really hope he does well and is able to make it to state as a soloist. He's been really busy.

Won't believe this, but he also tried out Sunday afternoon for the worship team at our church. We have two different types of services - classic service, which is where I sing with the choir and praise teams, then contemporary service where my son currently attends. Contemporary has a worship leader and then alternating worship teams that lead music.

I wasn't sure if they'd let him try out since he's only sixteen but they had him sing a little bit, practice some of the harmony part and then sing with one of the ladies. Don't know if he'll get it or not, but that doesn't really matter so much to me.

I'm just so proud of him for taking courage and trying out. It's really been such a great year for him and I hope it continues to be so. He's really stretching himself and exploring his gifts. I'd love to see him find a way to utilize his passion as his source of income someday.

It's something I wish I'd have figured out a little sooner. I just didn't know which way to turn when I was younger, as I was really good at several different things. Would have been nice to have had someone help guide me in that regard.

Which is one reason why I'm really trying to pay attention to what he'd like to do and surround him with opportunities to get out there and just do it.

Next stop - Memphis.

But Europe is coming.

Post Performance Blues

My son had his Christmas choir concert at school tonight. We're done with performances for the Christmas season!!!!!!

It's always a tad bittersweet when finishing a performance project. You work so hard for months on end and then - POOF! - it's over in what seems like a flash. Normally I get the post-performance blues for about a week or two, then all is back to normal.

Actually this time I'm not feeling quite so bad. Since I know it is out there, I was already half expecting the feelings. However, since I now will have a few evenings a week to spend relaxing at home, it doesn't sound quite so bad.

Sure will miss the comaraderie the cast all experienced - at least I hope they felt the same way. We all sort of became a mini-family (even though we were supposed to just be acting like one). I know I'll see them around church, but since I'm not an official member of Impact Players, I won't be attending their Monday night gatherings.

Someday I'll be a part - I've already promised Ruth. She kinda extracted it out of me (though I've wanted to for years).

Must have been those cattle-prods.