So many wonderful things have taken place the last several months that at times I cannot believe they are happening. Makes me also wonder what God is up to. :-)
Last fall I had to make a difficult decision in my life, but since that time it seems God has opened up doorway after doorway and confirmed Himself all over again in the paths I'm walking.
Shortly after making said decision, I was asked to be a part of the praise team at my church. I've not had a place on the platform since 2000 due to having to back off of involvements to deal with life's difficulties and to be more available to my son during that time. Plus losing my voice capacity had a bit to do with it too. I've been back in choir now for five years with a new worship pastor but have maintained a background stance. Not sure what the catalyst was that prompted our worship pastor to take notice of me, but I'm so thankful he did because it feels absolutely incredible to be used once again in my heart's desire - music.
Then there was winning first place in the salon fair at my school, additional confirmation that I'm on the right track. The past month there have been so many situations where God has opened doors that have allowed me to share with a few of the girls at the school, one who fell away from Him in high school after the failings of their youth pastor were revealed. She and I have been talking extensively. I love being used by the Lord in such ways. It also shows me how this industry will allow me a front-row seat in God's arena.
Today my Sunday School leader asked me about sharing my testimony in class in a couple of weeks. Wow! Heavy load and I haven't shared like that in Lord knows how long. But my son is eighteen now and is living proof what a life sold out to God can accomplish even through the mistakes we make. My life has been dedicated to raising him and that part of my path-walk is rapidly drawing to a close.
So maybe the idea of opening my own salon is on the horizon. I'm still jiggling doorknobs in that regard to see if any are open at the present time. I'll walk through those doors as I can and share that journey with you as it develops.
My life feels very full at the moment - busy too! Makes me wonder what is coming up around the bend.
Showing posts with label raising children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raising children. Show all posts
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Reflecting
Tonight I find myself reflecting back on a summer almost gone.
This week my son is visiting his dad down in Oklahoma. The first of the summer I had a ton of days to myself while he was busy preparing and then going to Europe. Now I'm with another nine days all to myself while he's visiting his dad. He'll return and then it's prep for a new school year.
Wow!
I've also seen my relationship with my son take a new turn - a really positive one. The Europe trip allowed him to see that he's more than capable of taking care of himself. He feels more confident in his capacity and comfortable in his own skin, and it shows in everything. Now I find myself at a crossroads in this new relationship.
It is very important to me to allow him this space to continue down the road toward manhood. Problem has been that so much of my life has been devoted to raising him, but now I have a chance to begin the process of considering what I will do post child-rearing.
Believe it or not, I'm looking forward to the opportunity in many ways. For the first time in nearly seventeen years I have a chance to consider some of the things I've wished to do - things I've put on hold. Trips I may wish to take just for the pure enjoyment of it.
And without my son along for the ride.
I know it scares alot of people when the kids begin to leave the nest. There will be moments that it feels a little scary to me, but this is what I've worked and sacrificed for all these years. The time has come to see the payoff. How could I not be happy that this day is rapidly approaching?
That means my son will be off in the great big world, forging his own path, and my job will be complete - for the most part anyway.
Now all I need to do is start figuring out where I'll want to go first. I've a pretty good idea of where that will be. :-)
This week my son is visiting his dad down in Oklahoma. The first of the summer I had a ton of days to myself while he was busy preparing and then going to Europe. Now I'm with another nine days all to myself while he's visiting his dad. He'll return and then it's prep for a new school year.
Wow!
I've also seen my relationship with my son take a new turn - a really positive one. The Europe trip allowed him to see that he's more than capable of taking care of himself. He feels more confident in his capacity and comfortable in his own skin, and it shows in everything. Now I find myself at a crossroads in this new relationship.
It is very important to me to allow him this space to continue down the road toward manhood. Problem has been that so much of my life has been devoted to raising him, but now I have a chance to begin the process of considering what I will do post child-rearing.
Believe it or not, I'm looking forward to the opportunity in many ways. For the first time in nearly seventeen years I have a chance to consider some of the things I've wished to do - things I've put on hold. Trips I may wish to take just for the pure enjoyment of it.
And without my son along for the ride.
I know it scares alot of people when the kids begin to leave the nest. There will be moments that it feels a little scary to me, but this is what I've worked and sacrificed for all these years. The time has come to see the payoff. How could I not be happy that this day is rapidly approaching?
That means my son will be off in the great big world, forging his own path, and my job will be complete - for the most part anyway.
Now all I need to do is start figuring out where I'll want to go first. I've a pretty good idea of where that will be. :-)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Enjoying The Journey
I've been sporting a bit of a headache the last few days, so we decided to take it easy this evening and watched a bit of TV. There was a show on TLC about Nanny Jenny, or some such or other. It made my headache worse.
The show surrounds a professional nanny coming into people's homes who have completely out-of-control children. The nanny has a few days to a week to begin the process of re-training the parents and setting some boundaries for the children. Yes, re-training the parents is the focus. Holy cow!
When my son was very little, I knew I needed to teach him proper behavior and expectations as young as possible. I figured he should learn them early before the cost to both him and me grew too great and he became an out-of-control teenager. I'm so glad I chose to invest in his future at that age.
During the two to three year old stage, I went through weeks at a time when he would test my patience and push as hard as he could. I'd come home from work and it would start immediately and would go into bedtime. Those weeks were so awful for me because I felt like the Wicked Witch from Hell, but I kept telling myself we'd eventually get through it. Kept telling myself that I was doing both him and myself a huge favor in the long run.
Now I look back on that past investment and already see enormous rewards and gains for my son. See, everything I did back then - yes, it helped me eventually, but in reality it was all for his benefit and to contribute enormously to his future.
Now I do admit, my son has been a good kid for most of his years. He's been pretty easy-going in most cases, but I wonder from time-to-time what he'd have become if I hadn't made those difficult decisions to discipline him when younger. He's got an incredibly bright future ahead of him. He'll be sixteen in less than two months. No mother could be more proud of where he's at right now.
Now I'm just along for the ride, enjoying the journey while it lasts. Git along, little doggie!
The show surrounds a professional nanny coming into people's homes who have completely out-of-control children. The nanny has a few days to a week to begin the process of re-training the parents and setting some boundaries for the children. Yes, re-training the parents is the focus. Holy cow!
When my son was very little, I knew I needed to teach him proper behavior and expectations as young as possible. I figured he should learn them early before the cost to both him and me grew too great and he became an out-of-control teenager. I'm so glad I chose to invest in his future at that age.
During the two to three year old stage, I went through weeks at a time when he would test my patience and push as hard as he could. I'd come home from work and it would start immediately and would go into bedtime. Those weeks were so awful for me because I felt like the Wicked Witch from Hell, but I kept telling myself we'd eventually get through it. Kept telling myself that I was doing both him and myself a huge favor in the long run.
Now I look back on that past investment and already see enormous rewards and gains for my son. See, everything I did back then - yes, it helped me eventually, but in reality it was all for his benefit and to contribute enormously to his future.
Now I do admit, my son has been a good kid for most of his years. He's been pretty easy-going in most cases, but I wonder from time-to-time what he'd have become if I hadn't made those difficult decisions to discipline him when younger. He's got an incredibly bright future ahead of him. He'll be sixteen in less than two months. No mother could be more proud of where he's at right now.
Now I'm just along for the ride, enjoying the journey while it lasts. Git along, little doggie!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Modern Teen Life
My son worked with my nephew over the weekend to set up his own personal information page. Not sure how to feel about it yet.
I'm a bit protective of him and just want to ensure that he isn't exposed to too many inappropriate things unnecessarily. He'll have plenty of that in college.
In order to set up this page he also needed an email address. I set up his sub-account under my email just a few moments ago.
Letting go is hard sometimes. Yes, it is important to let our kids stretch their wings, but it is also my responsibility as his parent to ensure he stays safe and doesn't go places he shouldn't.
So I've enabled all the parental controls humanly and technologically possible. Sometimes it is a good thing to be a control-freak.
My feeling is that if he proves himself responsible then I'll eventually ease up. Maybe when he's thirty. If he doesn't prove himself responsible then we'll just get rid of the page and the email. As a parent I demand obedience. I'm a stinker that way.
Hey, I take this parenting thing seriously. Someday I'll have to answer to God about how I did with what I was given. This is one area in which I plan to excel if at all possible.
Because no one else will be able to answer for me. :-)
I'm a bit protective of him and just want to ensure that he isn't exposed to too many inappropriate things unnecessarily. He'll have plenty of that in college.
In order to set up this page he also needed an email address. I set up his sub-account under my email just a few moments ago.
Letting go is hard sometimes. Yes, it is important to let our kids stretch their wings, but it is also my responsibility as his parent to ensure he stays safe and doesn't go places he shouldn't.
So I've enabled all the parental controls humanly and technologically possible. Sometimes it is a good thing to be a control-freak.
My feeling is that if he proves himself responsible then I'll eventually ease up. Maybe when he's thirty. If he doesn't prove himself responsible then we'll just get rid of the page and the email. As a parent I demand obedience. I'm a stinker that way.
Hey, I take this parenting thing seriously. Someday I'll have to answer to God about how I did with what I was given. This is one area in which I plan to excel if at all possible.
Because no one else will be able to answer for me. :-)
Monday, April 28, 2008
Tornado Times in Kansas
Went out to lunch today with a fellow single mother. Even though there is a vast difference in our ages, we have a great time together. Her son just turned three. Mine is fifteen. I've lived what she's going through, therefore I can offer her advice and support if she so desires.
I remember when my son was three. There were some absolutely wonderful times together. Some of them weren't so wonderful.
At three my son really tested the waters, stretching the umbilical cord until I thought I'd break. We'd go through two or three weeks of just nightmarish behavior. I often asked God if one could quit motherhood. Nope - not an option. During the bad behavior weeks, I'd come home from work and immediately he'd start trying my patience. I guess God does answer prayer. Sometimes though, I wish I'd prayed for something else - like a dog - instead of patience.
Then just when I was feeling like Mommie Dearest, one day he'd snap out of it and be my perfect angel all over again. At least for several months, that is, until the itch needed scratched again. Then the holy terror would come over him like a furious tornado (hey, this is Kansas - I have permission to use said analogy) and leave disaster in its wake.
One thing I learned during those tornado times was that my discipline needed to be consistent. Children are going to see how far they can push the boundaries (and push a few of our buttons in the process). What I discovered is that it is a key opportunity to help them learn how to recognize boundaries and begin building healthy ones in their own lives. If he hadn't learned them at a young age, I shudder to think who he might have become by now.
His room may still look somewhat like a tornado, but he's built solid character in his life and learned the concept of self-control. That will keep him well as he faces adult life.
He's also an example to my friend of what she can look forward to if she puts the hard work into her son now. Investments always have a payoff down the road.
It's usually a pretty good payout for our kids too. Maybe they'll remember it when they have kids of their own, you think?
I remember when my son was three. There were some absolutely wonderful times together. Some of them weren't so wonderful.
At three my son really tested the waters, stretching the umbilical cord until I thought I'd break. We'd go through two or three weeks of just nightmarish behavior. I often asked God if one could quit motherhood. Nope - not an option. During the bad behavior weeks, I'd come home from work and immediately he'd start trying my patience. I guess God does answer prayer. Sometimes though, I wish I'd prayed for something else - like a dog - instead of patience.
Then just when I was feeling like Mommie Dearest, one day he'd snap out of it and be my perfect angel all over again. At least for several months, that is, until the itch needed scratched again. Then the holy terror would come over him like a furious tornado (hey, this is Kansas - I have permission to use said analogy) and leave disaster in its wake.
One thing I learned during those tornado times was that my discipline needed to be consistent. Children are going to see how far they can push the boundaries (and push a few of our buttons in the process). What I discovered is that it is a key opportunity to help them learn how to recognize boundaries and begin building healthy ones in their own lives. If he hadn't learned them at a young age, I shudder to think who he might have become by now.
His room may still look somewhat like a tornado, but he's built solid character in his life and learned the concept of self-control. That will keep him well as he faces adult life.
He's also an example to my friend of what she can look forward to if she puts the hard work into her son now. Investments always have a payoff down the road.
It's usually a pretty good payout for our kids too. Maybe they'll remember it when they have kids of their own, you think?
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