Went out to lunch today with a fellow single mother. Even though there is a vast difference in our ages, we have a great time together. Her son just turned three. Mine is fifteen. I've lived what she's going through, therefore I can offer her advice and support if she so desires.
I remember when my son was three. There were some absolutely wonderful times together. Some of them weren't so wonderful.
At three my son really tested the waters, stretching the umbilical cord until I thought I'd break. We'd go through two or three weeks of just nightmarish behavior. I often asked God if one could quit motherhood. Nope - not an option. During the bad behavior weeks, I'd come home from work and immediately he'd start trying my patience. I guess God does answer prayer. Sometimes though, I wish I'd prayed for something else - like a dog - instead of patience.
Then just when I was feeling like Mommie Dearest, one day he'd snap out of it and be my perfect angel all over again. At least for several months, that is, until the itch needed scratched again. Then the holy terror would come over him like a furious tornado (hey, this is Kansas - I have permission to use said analogy) and leave disaster in its wake.
One thing I learned during those tornado times was that my discipline needed to be consistent. Children are going to see how far they can push the boundaries (and push a few of our buttons in the process). What I discovered is that it is a key opportunity to help them learn how to recognize boundaries and begin building healthy ones in their own lives. If he hadn't learned them at a young age, I shudder to think who he might have become by now.
His room may still look somewhat like a tornado, but he's built solid character in his life and learned the concept of self-control. That will keep him well as he faces adult life.
He's also an example to my friend of what she can look forward to if she puts the hard work into her son now. Investments always have a payoff down the road.
It's usually a pretty good payout for our kids too. Maybe they'll remember it when they have kids of their own, you think?
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