Decisions, Decisions

Decisions can be a funny thing. Sometimes there is no right or wrong answer, just the reasoning behind why we make the choices we do.

Many, many years ago, when my son was tiny, I made an important decision. I chose to put myself aside to focus on raising him. This meant that I gave up alot. Yet now I see how much I've gained by putting my son ahead of myself.

The main item I chose to give up was dating and finding Mr. "Right". Dating meant time away from my son, my already divided attentions between home and work divided even more. The one time I did date seemed to be more spent in jockeying two children instead of one (if you get my drift). Yes, I've had times of loneliness. Yes, I've had times where I questioned my decision. Yes, I've also questioned my ability to raise a son all alone. Yet I haven't been alone.

For some reason, God chose to bless me with an enormously important responsibility, one I did not take lightly. I was twenty-three at the time and he's nearing his sixteenth birthday. You do the math. There have been some horribly difficult years, but the wonderful years greatly outweigh the hard ones.

This past year has been an incredible time of growth and maturity for him in so many ways. He has three more years of school before he's off chasing his dreams. My time for influencing him is quickly waning, and these next three years will speed up and be gone in a flash. I've always said that if I can at least instill a sense of personal responsiblity in my son, then I will feel I have succeeded as a mother. We're nearly there.

And I will NEVER regret my decision to put my son before myself.