Life's Joys and Sorrows

My fellow readers - it has been too long. Glad to be getting back into the writing saddle, though I must admit I'm still not sure how regular I'll be.

Mom had her surgery the 27th of January. I was blessed to be able to spend the entire week with her to assist with recovery efforts. She's now in the full throes of chemo, has lost her hair, and after this third treatment recently is experiencing the fatigue we've only read about in other venues. Never thought I'd be so well versed in breast cancer and its various treatment regimens. Not sure I like being so, but I know it helps Mom with facing the unfaceable.

But life goes on and in a matter of months we'll have this phase behind her.

My son is nearing the end of his junior year in high school and decided that he was going to go to prom. I was thrilled to hear of it - he even asked a friend to go as his date and she accepted. For the last two weeks I've been bugging him to check with her on the color of her dress. Guys just don't understand that concept but I'm trying to give him little insights into the female psyche if he'll just pay attention.

So glory be, he asked her the color on Friday, just in time for his tux measurements and ordering today. He's going to be wearing this really neat style of tux with a black shirt and turquoise vest and tie. Pretty studly if you ask me - but then again, I'm only mom and he doesn't really ask me for that kind of input.

But as mom I offer it anyway. It's my prerogative (hey, isn't that a song?).

I also asked him if he thought they might enjoy my chauffeuring them to the red carpet in the RX.

What's that, you ask? Oh yes, that's right. With everything that's been going on of late I've never shared with you my Christmas present to myself.

Christmas Eve 2009, during the biggest snowstorm of the year, I bought myself a big bad new car.

Well it's not big but it sure is bad - velocity red, six-speed, suicide doors 2009 Mazda RX-8! That twin-rotor motor purrs more the harder you push the revs. We're talking it doesn't redline until 9,000 rpm's. Such a blast to drive! Just wish I had somewhere I could go and open her up full throttle without worrying about getting picked up by a policeman.

Hey, the insurance on the thing is bad enough already - certainly don't need to increase it with a ticket on my record. But I just can't help myself sometimes by pushing the envelope a little bit. Sure makes the drive to and from work alot of fun these days. With the driving back and forth to Oklahoma I've already racked up over nine thousand miles. I'd say she's just about broke-in.

So now my son has the old Protege to drive to and from school and pick up his date for prom. Feels a little weird at times, knowing my son is old enough to drive, not to mention date. Ugh!

But growing up is a part of life. I'm so glad he's participating in it and all the joys it can bring.

And sorrows - but joy comes once again in the morning. It'll come again for you too, Momma, and we can celebrate that time with you.

Set Building Insights

Our second set build for the play was today.

Missed the first one when I was sick.

Since my son was at his dad's, I wasn't overly concerned about the time. Left the house at 9:30 this morning. Didn't return home until almost 4:30.

I'm beat.

But the thing is we had so much fun together. After we finished up with all we could do today, a couple of us decided to go out to a late, late (did I say late?) lunch. Haven't had that much fun in paint splatter for a long time. Ruth told me I really needed to join the Impact Players on a regular basis, but she understood that I couldn't just now. Choir is my commitment, but my plan is to get back into theatre more after my son is done with school.

That's only going to be two and ahalf years now. Can you believe it? I still remember the day the doctor placed him in my arms, I whispered his name, and he turned his head and looked at me with wide eyes. Gave me goosebumps then and the memory gives me goosebumps now. Seems like it was not all that long ago, but sixteen years passes so quickly when you're having fun.

But I digress.

For the last couple of years I've been realizing that my time as a needed mother is rapidly drawing to a close. That leaves me looking forward to the time that I can start pursuing some of my own interests again. When we have kids it is important for them to have as much of us as possible. When our kids are growing up it is their time - time for us to nurture them, guard their hearts and minds, guide them, and just plain enjoy life with them. It's that season of life when our priorities need to shift a little from "us" to "them".

Then once they flap their wings and fly from the nest it's time once again to nurture those interests that were placed upon the shelf for a time. Maybe they change. Maybe they don't seem all that important anymore. But then that gives us the opportunity to explore what we will do with the enormous amount of life still yet to live.

I'm going to look forward to more set builds in a few short years.

He's Da Man!

Well my son took his driver's renewal test again yesterday. Passed with flying colors.

Since his previous attempt two weeks ago, he's been relegated to the manual every evening after finishing his school homework. Guess you could say after he finishes his homework, he's got to do his homework. I think we were both ready for him to try again and get it out of the way.

I had to take off work a little early in order for him to try again. The smile immediately stretched wide across his face and his eye glimmered when he was told his score. That said more than words, and I knew he'd accomplished his mission.

He laughed afterward and said that after reading the manual for two weeks straight, he'd better pass since he had most of it memorized. Earlier in the day he'd received a 100% on his first geometry unit test, an A on his art assignment, and now he finally had a picture ID with his cool beard.

It had been a good day.

I'm so glad too because we can finally finish up his night driving hours and get him his genuine license in a few months and he can start driving himself hither and yon instead of me rushing to take him and pick him up.

Plus, having a bona-fide teen driver in the house makes for a great errand-runner.

Advice Anyone????

Sometimes I don't know how to read my son.

This summer he's been Mr. Independent, traveling to various places with choir and youth groups. He's had a great time and I think the opportunities have been so good for him in so many ways.

That's why I'm a little stumped right now.

Last year when he got his learner's permit to drive, he aced the test. Didn't miss a single question. I've been telling him for a month to be reading up on the manual because he needed to take his test to get a restricted license. Told me he did. Thought that he did. Guess he really didn't.

Friday I took him to renew since I was off work. He took the written test and missed seven questions, two too many to get his license renewed. I was stunned.

Lately he's been fighting me on his driving. I'd kept my previous car when I bought my new one a couple of years ago just so he'd have a car to drive when ready. Only thing is the old car that is to be my son's is a manual transmission, and he learned on an automatic. I figured no problem, since I eventually learned how to drive a stick and loved it. Ah, the control. Ah, the power.

Wait, was that a cop I just passed?

Anyway, I get the teeniest feeling he failed on purpose. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but it is quite interesting how he went from Mr. Ace to Mr. Failure in the span of one year. Next month when he turns 16 he'll be getting his first job. I guess he'll have to walk to work and home again. Maybe then he'll rethink his attitude. Maybe then he'll actually see the benefit to driving himself. Cause let me tell you - this mother isn't going to be driving him.

Yeah, there's probably some fear there of the unknown. Maybe walking will renew the thirst to learn. One can only hope.

I'm open to advice!

The Manly Essence

My mom sent me some pictures today of when we were down for the Fourth of July. This one of my son is just amazing.

The kid has been shaving facial hair since he was twelve. This summer he decided he wanted to let it grow. The picture was from a month ago, and it's twice as heavy now.

My little baby boy is almost a grown man. At least he looks somewhat like it here. It amazes me when I think of what he's been through and how far he's come. His manly essence is starting to show itself. I think he's proud of the fact that he's one of only a handful of guys in his school who can even grow a beard. Gets it from my dad, I suppose.

Next Friday he starts school and is looking forward to showing off his new look. Things are changing so quickly now that at times I can barely keep up. Can't imagine what it will be like by the time he is a senior.

I'll have to ask my sisters about that one.

Tornado Times in Kansas

Went out to lunch today with a fellow single mother. Even though there is a vast difference in our ages, we have a great time together. Her son just turned three. Mine is fifteen. I've lived what she's going through, therefore I can offer her advice and support if she so desires.

I remember when my son was three. There were some absolutely wonderful times together. Some of them weren't so wonderful.

At three my son really tested the waters, stretching the umbilical cord until I thought I'd break. We'd go through two or three weeks of just nightmarish behavior. I often asked God if one could quit motherhood. Nope - not an option. During the bad behavior weeks, I'd come home from work and immediately he'd start trying my patience. I guess God does answer prayer. Sometimes though, I wish I'd prayed for something else - like a dog - instead of patience.

Then just when I was feeling like Mommie Dearest, one day he'd snap out of it and be my perfect angel all over again. At least for several months, that is, until the itch needed scratched again. Then the holy terror would come over him like a furious tornado (hey, this is Kansas - I have permission to use said analogy) and leave disaster in its wake.

One thing I learned during those tornado times was that my discipline needed to be consistent. Children are going to see how far they can push the boundaries (and push a few of our buttons in the process). What I discovered is that it is a key opportunity to help them learn how to recognize boundaries and begin building healthy ones in their own lives. If he hadn't learned them at a young age, I shudder to think who he might have become by now.

His room may still look somewhat like a tornado, but he's built solid character in his life and learned the concept of self-control. That will keep him well as he faces adult life.

He's also an example to my friend of what she can look forward to if she puts the hard work into her son now. Investments always have a payoff down the road.

It's usually a pretty good payout for our kids too. Maybe they'll remember it when they have kids of their own, you think?

A Banner Year

I'm so proud of my son! The men's choir at school (of which he was invited to be a part as a freshman) scored all 1's at regionals last Saturday, therefore they are going to state competition. This has truly been a banner year for him.

First the big trip, then regionals, and now state. He is feeling very good about life right now, and I couldn't be happier.

You know, I realized something over the weekend. I'm not just proud of my son for what he does, but I'm proud of him just for who he is. So many people used to tell me just to wait for the teenaged years because then it gets rough. But in his case, they've been wrong thus far.

He doesn't smoke, chew, or run with girls who do. He doesn't drink or curse. His friends are a great influence on him, but I've also noticed that my son has a deep inner strength in knowing what is right and what is wrong, knowing who he is and what he does and doesn't want to do. So far he's really listened to that. I wonder sometimes how much the difficulties we've faced have influenced his strength of character. It's a very interesting thought.

I've told so many people over the years how proud I am of my son but realized I wasn't doing a good job of telling him. So I told him this weekend how proud I was of the man he was becoming. Seems like he was happy to hear it.

These next few years will be an interesting ride, and I can't wait to see how they turn out for him.