Going, Going - Gone!

I’m terribly disappointed this evening.

Took my son down to stay with his dad for the weekend. Got quite a shock when they started talking about him shaving off his beard.

Say what????

They must have been discussing this on the phone the last couple of weeks, because it came as quite the surprise to me. My son hadn’t mentioned a word. When I asked him about it this evening, he just shrugged and said it would grow back.

What about how manly it made him feel? What about all the positive comments and compliments he’d received from his fellow students? He’d created a bit of a stir the first few days of the new school year, being one of a handful of high school students even able to sport a full mustache and beard.

I left there stark raving mad. Somewhere along the way, he’d allowed his dad to talk him into doing this. If it was truly what my son wanted then that was understandable. From his body language and just a gut feeling, I get the impression this isn’t really what he wanted.

With my son’s knowledge, my mom bought him a very nice electric mustache and beard trimmer for his upcoming birthday. He was really looking forward to getting it next week. When I arrived home after dropping off my son, I had to call my mother to vent. She was almost as shocked as I.

When I’d left for Chicago, my mother came up here to stay with my son and feed him in my absence. They talked about how his beard made him feel. They went shopping together (something my son tries to avoid) so he could pick out the trimmer he wanted. My mother almost went ahead and gave it to him early because he was so excited.

Yes, my son is correct. His beard will grow back, but that isn’t the point. In several sessions with his counselor, they’ve talked about him being more forthcoming with who he is inside and what he really thinks instead of just telling people what he believes they want to hear. Now I’m afraid he may have agreed to something to placate his dad instead of because it’s what he wants.

For the sake of disclosure, I realize this just brings to the surface my own issues with what I think of his father (or lack thereof). But I want my son to decide to wear a beard or shave it based upon what he likes for himself, not what I or his father think is best. He’s old enough to make this decision (it’s only hair anyway). Must admit, I wasn’t really keen on the whole beard thing when he first started growing it, but I also saw how it made him feel good about himself and how others responded to him because of it.

Hmmm – maybe, just maybe he might be feeling the need for a fresh start on the beard. Maybe he just wants to see how people will treat him when he goes back to being baby-faced again. Maybe he’s feeling secure enough about himself that he doesn’t need the beard to feel manly. Gosh I hope it is something more positive.

All I can say is that I can hardly wait for the drive home Sunday so I can hear the reasons behind why he chose to do this and why now. Maybe he has a good reason. If not, I will attest to the prior thought processes. For now I’ll just keep my feelings at bay.

It is his face and his hair. And again, he’s right. He can always grow it back again. Maybe this time it will be even fuller and thicker. As long as there is a positive here for him, it's good.