Another Milestone

My guts have turned into butterflies. My son leaves early tomorrow morning for his big school choir trip to Dallas. He's excited. I'm nervous. Not sure why. Wait a minute - I think I do.

It isn't that I don't think he can handle it. My son has traveled extensively with me when I go on business trips. He's been to Alaska, California, Colorado, Texas, D.C., etc., etc., etc., knows his way through navigating airports and baggage claim, and is rather adept at getting places with everything he needs and returning home with everything he took (and then some). No, I have a feeling he's going to be just fine in that regard. The problem seems to be all mine.

I have to let go of my need to control.

You see, I'm a planner by nature for more reasons than one. I've spent most of his life trying to protect him as much as possible from the chaos that seems to follow me. Experiences are a very important component of life, but when I'm the one planning the experiences I'm also the one who controls it to (hopefully) avoid the possibility of a bad experience. Just being able to be a kid is important, and I've tried to guard him from the worries and cares of life - he's faced more things in his short years than most adults do in a lifetime.

This trip is a milestone for both of us then. None of his buds are in the choir. He's rooming with guys I don't know. Someone else will be responsible for the well-being of my son. I want SO BADLY for this to be a positive and wonderful experience, but that is no longer up to me.

I thought about going as a sponsor when the trip was announced earlier this school year. Decided not to. We talked about it, and he's happy to be going on his own (i.e. without me). But he needs this. He needs to know that he can be responsible for himself. He needs to know that he can have a good time without old mother-dear holding his hand so he can cross the street (Disclaimer - I haven't done that in a long time, okay). He's going to do more than survive this trip; he's going to flourish!

I'll just be so glad to hear about it when he comes back home Sunday night. By then, he'll probably be too tired to talk about it.