Shrinking View

My worldview has shrunk greatly in the past month. At this moment in my life everything revolves around my mom.

After the initial shock of the cancer diagnosis and then my grandmother's death wore off, my mind immediately shifted into Mom focus. I doubt if that will let up for some time yet.

My gracious boss once again showed her true colors. Once the mastectomy was scheduled, I was allowed to buy ahead on my vacation time (even though I've not been there quite six months) and was able to spend an entire week with my mother, helping her recuperate. After arriving back home on a Wednesday night, we turned around and headed back Friday evening for Super Bowl weekend.

That initial Wednesday parting was enormously difficult after spending a whole week caring for my mother. I held it all together until driving down the block and turning the corner. Before I even hit the next stoplight, the tears were falling uncontrollably.

It's times like these I wish I lived closer to my parents.

Hard as it felt, this weekend we stayed home. My son had a school dance Friday night and then ended up having friends around pretty much all weekend. But Mom hasn't been far from my mind.

Tomorrow night after work, I'll once again hit the road to head to Oklahoma. Mom has her first oncology visit Wednesday and I want to be there for that too. Chemo is looming on the horizon and none of us are looking forward to seeing her have to go through that. But eventually this too shall pass.

There are no guarantees in life, but I love my mother dearly and hope to keep her around for as long as possible. Eventually life will resume and get back to normal. I'm sure my son will keep me just as busy for the next year, as he's approaching senior-hood.

But for now little else matters. It's Mom who deserves my focus. And that's as it should be.