The Dreaded "D" Word

Divorce

Such a terrible word. Such terrible wounds fanning out like a spider's web, touching more than the two parties involved.

Just this week I learned of two separate couples who find themselves in the throes of divorce proceedings. One divorce involves no children, while the other has two very young souls enmeshed in the chaos. Even though the first couple have no children there are still parents, other relatives, and friends that are affected forever by the division.

I remember when a sister went through a divorce and we struggled as a family to divide ourselves from him and his family out of loyalty to my sister. Friendships that involved both my sister and her former husband were stretched thin between the two. Eventually a side won the friendship battle. Even so, everyone still lost in the end.

When I suffered through my own divorce, even in the freedom there was extended pain. My mother-in-law was very dear to me, but now I've neither seen nor spoken to her in eighteen years. My mother and my ex's older sister were friends and taught Sunday School together in their church. Now they only speak to each other when necessary. There's that family loyalty to consider.

Having been through it all, I understand first-hand why God hates divorce. It tears into the very heart and soul of humanity - after all, God is about relationship. It's why He created us in the first place. Even in that perfect garden, God saw that humans needed other humans even though we eventually screwed up His perfection.

I know the legalists preach no divorce and no divorce/remarriage. I understand where they are coming from - I used to be one of them. But now that I see scripture from the side of having lived through the painful web of divorce and it's aftermath, I think I understand the deeper heart of what Christ was trying to get across to humanity two-thousand years ago.

There are never any winners, only losers when it comes to divorce. Relationships are shattered and most times irreparable, and God sees hurt upon hurt heaped upon humanity.

Which is why He hates that dreaded "D" word so much.

Because in many ways divorce equals death.