The Cancer Journey

I've been giving more thought of late to the idea of moving forward with writing a book about my mom's cancer journey.

It's been quite interesting seeing the emotional roller coaster my mom has ridden on (along with a few of us standing by her side). In the beginning was fear of the unknown, the questionable mammogram, the emergency sonogram, the rushed biopsy.

The results.

Then came the inconsolable terror of the diagnosis, the sense of unreality, how this could be happening. Those days were such a blur, no sleep, constant worry, fear of the known and how to comprehend it all. Mom and Dad could hardly function and it took an army of us to band together to make sure we got to all of the appointments and scans, pre-op blood work and heart monitoring accomplished.

Before acceptance had much of a chance to take hold, Grandma passed away, further complicating an already emotional situation and weaving loss upon loss through all our hearts. It almost seemed like too much at the time.

Eventually a tentative acceptance hovered over her as Mom placed herself firmly in God's hands, so confused, so scared, but secure in the loving hands of the Father. Surgery came and she experienced loss of the breast, still intermingled with the loss of her mother, and we all grieved.

But grieving can be healing too.

She experienced the high of being free of detectable cancer cells in any lymph nodes but faced the reality of coming chemo treatments. Fear permeated again, but acceptance of the path laid before her came shortly upon its heels.

The first chemo treatment was a fright-filled event again, but each successive treatment has revealed a resiliency she probably didn't know she had. Once again, loss was experienced - this time her hair - but grieving and acceptance quickly moved her through those stages.

With the fourth chemo treatment, I was able to be present with her and saw a miraculous change in Mom's attitude. She walked into the facility like it was any other day, had all of her papers in tow, greeted everyone with a smile and got down to business without any assistance from anyone else. Then she picked out her chair and the day began.

What a change from the beginning stages of this journey!

Even though I know Mom doesn't like the chemo treatments and after effects, she knows their purpose, accepts what comes - but she also knows that this too shall pass and she'll be back on the road to better health and living life again very soon. Her attitude has become infectious and is an inspiration to everyone who comes in contact with her.

After all, she's only got two more chemo treatments left and then she'll be done. We're all wondering what her hair will look like once it starts to come back in.

And then where the next part of her journey will lead.