It's Official

It is with enormous pleasure and pride that I post today's news.

As of Sunday, my son is officially graduated from high school!

There were times I thought we'd never get to this momentous event, that I was birthing my son all over again but this time it was years instead of mere hours. There have been years of agony, pain, and sorrow - years of anger and hurt. But now we look back on it all and realize that the good AND bad years have contributed to where he is today.

And that place is an awesome place.

Instead of surviving, he's at that place where he is truly looking forward to the future and making plans for what it holds. Even though transition is somewhat scary, he's been ready to get past high school for some time now and move into college and career considerations.

That's so cool! My son, actually looking forward to college - who'd have thunk it?

This morning I made the request for his high school transcripts to be forwarded to his college of choice. Tomorrow we'll be going to get his classes for fall tentatively scheduled and scholarship info finalized.

The interesting thing about all of this, I'm not feeling nostalgic or sad. Sunday I never once cried because I was so happy for my son and his accomplishments (I did enough of that preparing his DVD life montage). Well, and perhaps I was also trying to take care of everything under the sun too, but that's beside the point. How could I cry when my son was obviously so thrilled?

So on this eve of Memorial Day weekend there is much to be thankful for.

I'll include my son in that.

High School Memories

Not sure what the deal is this week, but I've seen a flurry of old friends from high school cross my Facebook page. It's been wonderful to catch up with a few of those old friends and reminisce about life back then and where life has taken us all since.

Some experiences were hard. Some great, and some not so great. But each thread of experience has woven us all into the person we've become today. We're probably all better for it in many ways, though life would have been easier if we'd made some better choices earlier on.

The good thing about catching up is being reminded of all the tidbits of fun and orneriness (but in a good way) we used to get into. There's so much I'd forgotten. My later high school years had some very difficult and unpleasant experiences associated with them. Therefore, I waited only to get away as soon as I could and throw the terrible memories into the dung-heap.

Only problem is that when we throw aside the bad memories, the good ones go right along with them.

So now that I'm being reminded of all the fun and absolutely hilarious memories of the past, it gives me so many warm feelings on which to hang my hat.

I think I'll let those stay awhile.

Saying Goodbye - Looking Ahead

The last remnants of Christmas have been tucked away safely for another year.

This evening my son and I spent a few hours de-decorating our Christmas displays in our home. It's always a little bittersweet but also fun because we spend the time sharing memories and talking about the ornaments and what he will take with him someday when he sets up his own household. It allows us the opportunity to reminisce about our favorite events this year as well.

Makes it so much more enjoyable now that he's old enough to really help out with the clean-up job. When he was little I was usually a little sad because I tended to do the put-away by myself and usually while he was taking a nap or had gone to bed for the night. It's nice to share the job with him now.

However, I must also admit that I love to get the tree out to the curb, clean up the needles, and get the house back in order. Seems to feel so much roomier when that tree is out of the house.

Last year we put up the tree in the family room. This year we put it up in the living room. I think I actually liked it a little better in the living room because I'd walk in the door from work and turn on the tree and hear the Star Spangled Banner from my Statue of Liberty ornament I bought when I used to travel to New York all the time. But then we also spend most of our time together in the family room so didn't see and smell the tree as much.

Next year I'll need to be sure and do more decorating in the family room so it looks more festive. I have so many decorations that it shouldn't be an issue. Time was the robber this year, what with hosting Thanksgiving and doing the Christmas play at church.

Even though it's hard to say goodbye to those warm fuzzy memories, I continue to look forward to what 2009 holds for us. I've a feeling it just may turn out to be a banner year.

You Go Girl

I just had the most wonderful phone conversation!

For the last several days I've been emailing with a high school friend who was like a family member when we were all growing up. She's actually the same age as my oldest sister, but there was a whole group of them that hung out at our place. Thence the ability to develop my own friendship with her over the years.

After high school we ran into each other here and there from time to time. But then I got married and moved away and lost track of her.

Well thanks to my sister insisting I get a Facebook page, she found me and we've been emailing off and on of late.

Recently we exchanged phone numbers. Since my life has finally slowed down, I picked up the phone and gave her a call this evening. It was so great hearing her voice after all these years and talking for more than an hour. Did NOT mean to tie up her time that much.

She ended up waiting to get married until her thirties. Now she has three young kids (well, at least younger than mine) and her time is tied up in being a wife and mother.

Oh how I envy her (and my sisters) for being able to stay home with her kids. Yes, there are sacrifices that must be made when you live on one income, but the benefits you reap in your children no price can be affixed to. She and her husband have made a very wise decision.

The time will eventually pass and become a memory. Someday again she'll have a life outside the home if she desires.

In the meantime, you go girl!

What's With The Waterworks?

Last night I FINALLY received my practice CD for the play. There are a few songs I have to sing but one is a solo/duet. I think it is important for me to get a little bit of time to rehearse it too.

What's with the waterworks in this play????????

The song starts as my character is listening to the radio. She and her father have just had a discussion about life, loss, love, and moving on. Then her pop goes off to bed and she turns up the radio again to hear Miss Stella Ashton singing "Everytime I Turn Around".

My character is already missing her husband after not seeing him for five months. He was supposed to try and be home for Thanksgiving. Didn't happen. The Christmas season has begun and she's not sure he'll make it home then either. The thought of a Christmas without him is just tearing her apart.

Then the song comes on.

It's one of those old crooning songs. The words speak of seeing reminders of him from the ceiling to the ground, everytime she turns around - a favorite book, his hat, the footfalls on the stairs, his laugh, his smile.

Once again, when I think about my character I can't help but just have tears welling up in my eyes at the hurt she feels. The song is very powerful. What the heck am I going to do if I start crying during the song at performance time?

I mean, we just finished a difficult walk down memory lane that makes me tear up. I'm already going to feel emotional and sniffly (won't that sound great in the microphones) and then I'm supposed to sing a song with an already only halfway there voice?

This is not going to be pretty.

Maybe I've let my head get too deep into this story. Maybe I need to not think about it so much. Okay, I know there's no way I can do a play without immersing myself into it completely. Never was able to do ANYTHING halfway - why start now?

Just remember - if you come I've already warned you.

Let The Tears Flow

Tonight was the rehearsal with the very poignant scene. I almost teared up twice.

The older gentleman I play opposite has done several big roles in our church's productions. He's played Jesus in our Easter productions while I've played the younger Mary. He's played kingly roles while I've sung in the choir or danced. We've done alot together over the years.

This is the first time we've had the chance to portray roles actually with each other. He plays the father to my character. His wife died 24 years ago during the Great War (aka WWI) while my character lost a mother and became the family caretaker at a young age.

In the scene, they're sitting together on the sofa late at night - she staying up too late to listen to her husband's favorite radio show, he raiding leftover turkey from the fridge. The father gets his daughter to open up about her fears of her husband not returning home. Her questions jar his memories and they take a walk back to a better, more happier time.

Sometimes the memories hurt. Sometimes they laugh. But all in all, the memories, regardless of the emotion they dredge up, are good to remember.

We really got into this scene and enjoyed just letting it flow. I have a feeling that when we get our lines down pat, it might just feel completely natural to let a few tears rise to the surface. Sure hope we can get comfortable enough to allow for the possibility and not let our nerves get the best of us come production evenings. Truly is a beautiful scene.

You know, I'm really honored to be a part of this production.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Saw a commercial this evening about a lady sneaking health food into the movie theatre. Oh, it got me thinking of my college days.

Being poor college students, my best friend and I would go to the dollar movies on occasion for some sort of entertainment. Of course, that was when the dollar movies were actually a DOLLAR, and they made their money off of ridiculous prices for concessions. Once again, being poor college students, we made do with our own concessions.

At that time, I was in possession of the biggest silver lame purse you'd ever seen. It made for a perfect snack bin. Before heading off to the movie theatre, we would swing through McDonald's, Taco Bell, whatever fast food joint was on the way and garner some cheap food. Depending on how brave we were that evening, we'd either get sodas at the food joint or run to a convenience store and get bottled soda. Then it was off to the movies.

After we parked at the theatres, I would empty everything out of my purse and stuff it in the glove box. Then the food and sodas would take its place, topped off by my wallet. Hey, I still had to pay for my ticket. We even got an entire dozen Winchell's donuts and two bottles of milk into my purse one night. That was quite the feat indeed.

We never had a food or drink accident in my purse, but we did almost get caught one night. That was back when the ushers actually walked down the aisles during the movie looking for "contraband". But seriously, how easily can they see all the way across the aisle if you're holding their cup or a Micky D's cup. I mean seriously!

I'm no longer a poor college student and can afford to pay the ridiculous concessions prices. But I still know of a few people who continue to carry contraband into the theatres. You'll never get me to squeal.