The Strangeness of Strangers

Things are feeling very strange tonight.

Previously I've blogged briefly about a friendship that was betrayed eleven years ago and the pain that brought, but also what I've learned from that time period. God never lets a hurt go unused if it is given to Him for His glory.

Twice in all of these years, this person made contact with me to try and open correspondence - once by letter about six years ago and once via Facebook about a year and ahalf ago. I never responded to either because I wasn't sure how to feel about it all and if I was strong enough to open those old wounds - not only for myself but for my son as well. Most importantly, I neither sensed genuine remorse nor received any apology.

But perhaps the timing is right now.

Lately I've sensed the Lord directing my mind more and more toward her. This past weekend there was a distinct sense from the Lord that I needed to make contact - that now the time was ripe.

Still not sure how to feel about it, but in obedience I searched for and found her through the Linked In website - it appears she's no longer on Facebook. So I sent a contact notice and my personal email so as not to muddy a public site with highly sensitive and extremely personal correspondence.

She responded back right away.

Then I wasn't sure how to proceed. I'd stepped out in obedience but wasn't sure what I expected to happen. Have no clue whatsoever what will happen or even what I want to happen from this. Perhaps it is just a time to speak the truth and offer forgiveness. Maybe eventually there might even be a chance to establish an acquaintence or (dare I say it) a friendship of sorts again - but that is spending time in fantasyland, whereas I'm too realistic of a girl to allow myself to wallow in such dangerous territory. Reality may bite much of the time but the long-term price of fantasyland no one can afford.

So for now I'm just opening up communication and telling it like it is. I'm pretty good at that anymore. She's at least willing to communicate and talk in reality too, unlike how things were going when the friendship ended. And I've finally received something for which I've waited eleven years.

A remorseful and heartfelt apology.

Reality may have the deepest hurts, but it also contains moments of true and actual joy. That's something fantasyland will never provide. So I'll take reality any day.

Even if it makes me feel strange.

Life Worth Living

Had some really interesting happenings at school this week.

Now understand - I'm the old lady at school and as such have become like a mother figure to pretty much everyone there. Countless times I've had some of the girls come up to me and lay their wounds bare before me. It's become quite clear that school as well as this industry is fertile ground.

One of the girls recently came out on the floor from two months in the classroom. She is a young and quiet soul and has a tendency to keep to herself. Some of the more sanguine and extroverted girls have had a tendency to label her as a bit snooty or standoff'ish. For some reason, I've suspected that label to be misapplied in her case.

This week confirmed it.

Because of my "mom" status, I have a tendency to go around school to all of the stations and just touch base, comment, and encourage each student, especially as each new class enters the big, bad, scary world of live rehearsal on the floor. Working with mannequins is one thing - real, live human beings quite another. Tuesday this particular student talked with me for a few minutes. We made a connection.

Wednesday was my turn to run the desk (we take turns, though I seem to be on the desk ALOT - I wonder why). When it isn't busy, the desk person must stay at their assigned position but can sit on one of the sofas in the waiting area and study (and since we were on Anatomy and Physiology, I felt the study time would be most prudent - made a 100% by the way). This student came by on a break, sat down, and proceeded to open up to me about all of the hurtful things that were going on in her life at present - the death of her grandmother, her mom finding out about her dad's affair, and facing the return of a cheating boyfriend who wanted to try and get back together.

Needless to say, this young lady has an awful lot of trials going on in her life!

I'd hoped by just listening and sharing with her some of my own trials and how my faith in God has walked me through it all, it might give her hope and make some sort of difference.

Thursday morning she came to school beaming. She'd decided Wednesday night to stop in at a church she once attended and immediately reconnected with several old friends. She couldn't wait to tell me what had transpired.

She'll never know how uplifting it was for me to hear.

Sometimes we go about our Christian life never knowing if anything we do makes a difference. Where's the evidence that God is moving and working through our lives to touch others and bless them?

Perhaps on occasion, God gives us a small peek. That's what happened to me this week. In blessing someone else with just being there and being willing to be vulnerable, the Lord blessed me with the knowledge that He was still using this old instrument for His glory.

It makes life worth living - even on those days when you want to box the ears of those crazy youngsters.

Christmas Life

The Christmas season has officially begun!

At least around our house anyway. :-)

Mom and Dad brought my son home and spent the rest of the weekend with us as tradition dictates. We've got our tree up and in the water, presents purchased, and I'm getting ready to start doing some decorating around the house.

Now if only I could keep up with the dishes and dusting.

Christmas is typically my favorite time of year (Independence Day a close second), but this year it feels a little more mellowed for some reason. A year ago brought alot of heartache and upset right around this time with my mother's cancer diagnosis followed swiftly by my grandma's passing (mom's mom). Eleven years ago this Christmas Eve was also the time my dear grandpa passed away. There seems to be alot of hurt attached to this time of year anymore.

Back when I was married (sooo many moons ago) I was just starting out in the banking industry and didn't have enough seniority to get time off at Christmas. My husband's family lived in Nebraska and he would take off a week or two and go up to see them. I'd go a couple of hours south and drive back Christmas night.

I remember vividly that first Christmas night driving back home all alone. As I entered the city, it was eerie in its silence and disturbing in its darkness. Nary a car was in sight as I roamed the streets and pulled into the garage. Walking into the empty house brought such pangs of loneliness of which I've rarely experienced since.

My ex and I never spent a single Christmas together.

Which is why after the divorce, Christmas became my favorite holiday once again. I had no good Christmas memories from my marriage to cloud my future happy holidays.

But 1999 muddied the waters for awhile after the loss of my very best friend forever and ever between Thanksgiving and Christmas that year and then the passing of my grandpa that Christmas Eve. It was several hard years after that before Christmas again became a festive time for us.

So even though there's rather a mellowed sense of the season this year, there's also so much life to celebrate in that Mom is doing great and my family continues to draw close to one another through these tough times.

And isn't new life what we're really celebrating at Christmas anyway?

That's what I thought.

Comfort In The Midst of Uncomfortable

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

How true this verse is being played out this week.

This evening I went over to the hospital in a nearby town to comfort a young friend. After getting my mother on the road toward health and healing from her mastectomy this past January, we received news this week that a friend was going to have to have a mastectomy.

She's in her early thirties.

Never dreamed I'd see someone else I know go through such a traumatic procedure so soon. Never in my life did I ever expect someone so young to have to endure it.

I mean, I know it happens - and to those even younger. But those are the stories you read about in the news or books. It's hit so close to home tonight.

Certainly hope I can be a comfort to her in the midst of this trying time. I was able to share some helpful hints before she went to the hospital this morning. It sure was good to see her tonight and know that she came through it okay.

But the road to recovery will be long and rough. The cancer is in her lymph nodes. I didn't have to endure that with my mother. Even so, I know I can still be a source of solid information and pray that I can be of comfort to her too. Somehow what we endured with my mom is coming back around to help someone else. Maybe - somehow - someway - what Mom went through is taking on even greater significance and meaning.

For there truly is comfort in the midst of the uncomfortable when we've walked that path of pain and lived through it.

Thanks, Mom, for allowing me this learning opportunity and enduring the pain you went through so that I could learn how to help someone else. Only God knew how soon I'd need to use His comfort once again.

Peace and Quiet - Rumbles to Follow

Rain is falling softly outside under an overcast sky. The wind whispers through the trees, the morning quiet and undisturbed.

But my son and his friends will soon wake and the morning quiet will be followed by eruptions of rambunctious teenaged boys.

And I thought they were pretty crazy when they were kids!

Since my son didn't have to work last night, he invited friends over to the house once again. There have been few weekends where we've been home without a schedule for many long months now, so he's taking full advantage of it. Later today they're going to go out and see the new Robin Hood movie starring Russell Crowe.

Haven't they remade that tale enough by now????

I'm glad though that he's having a chance to reconnect with friends outside of school. We've been on the move so much that he's had little opportunity of late. It's something I need to take advantage of too and learn from his example.

Last night I received a call from a dear friend of mine that I haven't talked to much in a long time. She and I have missed running into each other most of the few Sundays I've been at my own church since January. Last weekend we were actually in town because of my son's prom, but then she was away to spend the day with her parents for Mother's Day.

Go figure.

It was so nice to reconnect with her. I haven't realized how much I've missed my close friendships until that call. We updated each other on our lives. She asked about Mom, and I asked about her Marine son, his wife and granddaughter. Sometimes it is so hard for me to believe that she's a grandma.

Grandmotherhood will be fun someday myself, though I'd like to put it off until my son has at least finished college. :-) I only hope I've taught him well enough from the error of my own ways.

In the meantime, it sounds like the boys are stirring from slumber now that it is almost 12:45. And now the quietness of the morning gives way to the rumbles of the afternoon.

Or was that thunder?

Prom 2010

My baby boy is growing up so fast.

Last night was his junior prom. Fortunately he had a really good time, but it almost was an absolute disaster.

During his choir trip to Chicago, he and another girl became friends - only friends but such that he asked her a few weeks later to go to prom with him. He had this really elaborate plan with which to ask her - so it was a good thing she said "yes".

At least I thought so at the time.

This past week, right before prom, his date backed out on him. She claimed to have gone with a friend the year before - only as friends - and that it had turned out rather disastrous. Her excuse was that she didn't want to repeat the same mistake. Personally, I think someone else asked her and she really wanted to go with him.

Only problem - she'd already said yes. Plus we're talking my son, who is not some whack-job waiting to get a girl alone on prom night. At least that isn't the way he was raised. My son and I were up Friday night until almost midnight talking about it all. But he was going to go ahead and go and walk the red carpet alone.

I went to bed Friday night completely broken hearted. You can mess with me all day long, but you mess with my son and I will NOT be held responsible for the ire your stupidity raises. I learned a long time ago that there is a raging momma bear inside me and would probably be capable of murder if you mess with my cub.

Or at least a severe roughing up and dressing down. Hopefully neither you nor I will ever have to find out.

Saturday morning he seemed better, but I stewed all day. Talked to a dear friend of mine later in the day about the situation. Her daughter graduated from the same high school a couple of years before and attends a local college. She piped up that she'd go with him if he wanted. That was the needed lift to my son's ego. What high school junior wouldn't love to escort an "older" woman to his high school prom?

I think I was even more excited for him than he was. Needless to say, he created a bit of a fuss with a hot (but so sweet) woman on his arm last night. Several people remembered her from a few years before and couldn't believe that she was with my son.

Right now I'm so proud of both of them - she for giving up an evening for a wounded young man, and he for accepting the offered olive leaf of friendship that was the salve he needed at just the right time.

Needless to say he had a crowd of guys talking to him at church today. Imagine there may be a few more come Monday morning.

How he handles the accolades will go a long way in teaching him what it means to be a true gentleman.

Feeling Nostalgic

Two weeks down on the new job and another week to start tomorrow.

To be honest, there are some things I miss about being at home. This summer was the first I ever had with my son since he was born. No job pulling me away from him, but no money either to do anything much. It's funny what you can do without, though, when you enjoy merely spending time together.

I miss the opportunity for a few lazy mornings, that sense of feeling fully alive and rested after a good and full night's sleep. I miss having time to spend a day immersing myself in reading a good book. Then there's the time to write - haven't done any for about a month.

But after my son, the thing I miss the most is having time for my friends. By the time I get home from the office, I am slamming together dinner and getting it in our tummies. Before I know it, the bed is calling. I barely have time for a few hours with my son, much less talking to my friends.

The job is going well so far. It's getting back out and around the public and I'm enjoying getting to know my team. But I am feeling rather nostalgic for time to just be. The stress of learning the ropes will eventually pass and we'll get back into a new routine.

But I really enjoyed my seven months of being a stay-at-home mother for the very first time. As they say, all good things must come to an end.

They make way for new ones too.

Everything In Its Place

Busy day, but it was so much fun!

Our friends came into town last night and we all got together today. Everyone ended up staying later than expected, but it seemed to be because we were having such a great time. The boys went straight to the man cave, went swimming, came back and filled their plates and went straight back to the man cave.

After all, it's what the man cave is for I guess.

I talked to one of my friends who spearheaded this thing once everyone left. She and I both agreed how much we all enjoy getting together. This is a group of people that we can just let our hair down with and be loud and obnoxious and laugh uproariously and still be friends at the end of the day.

No airs. No faces or hats. Just being who we really are and knowing we have a great time together.

That's what real friendship is all about.

It's why it hurts so bad that the one family moved away. Hey, but their coming into town is what gives us all a good reason to get together again.

We need to come up with more excuses to do that more often. Give me a little time and I'm sure I'll think of something. I've got this big house now and it's great for entertaining.

Even if it takes much longer to get in order for guests. Hey, they're all worth it!

Pavement in Heaven

Today we've been pretty busy preparing for the arrival of guests tomorrow. We're having a get-together at our house to celebrate the brief visit of some dear friends. Their son was part of the gang of five with my son and their other friends until they moved away about five years ago with a job.

My goodness, has it been that long?

Anyway, they go visit family in Wisconsin every other year and so spend a couple of days here to reconnect with everyone on their journey north. It's always so nice to see them again, and also to see the boys all back together. They've all changed so much!

I will always regret one thing, however. Just before they moved to Texas, the mom and I had time to connect and develop a friendship. We'd do a girls night out or just hang at her house or my house picking up and dropping off when our boys would get together. Then the news of the move dropped like a bomb.

I was devastated.

It'd been several long years since I'd had a good friend, someone that I felt comfortable confiding in and whose husband wasn't secretly after me (long story). So the news seemed like a blow to my heart once again.

So I decided right then and there that I wasn't going to hesitate anymore in seeking out and developing close friendships. Early in my life, I recognized the need for realness in relationships, especially among trusted friends.

I'm blessed many times over in that regard once more, but I learned the lesson through many bumps and bruises. However, I'll take the bumps and bruises anyday rather than NOT risk friendship - before it's too late.

So my message to you tonight is to take a chance and work hard to develop friendships while the opportunity is there. In today's society we need them more than ever. They are worth the time invested. If you have hesitated before, make a vow right now to not waste another moment to obtain good, close friendships.

Relationships are worth their weight in gold. Remember, that's mere pavement in heaven.

The Fellowship of Life

Tonight we started the first of a trilogy for the weekend.

It's been forever since we were both home with nowhere to go and no one coming to visit. This will also be the last weekend until the first weekend in June when we have nothing planned.

Wait - first weekend in June is now full. 'Tis my fortieth birthday bash. Tee-hee! Yes, it's full speed ahead for the huge party.

But that's going to have to wait for another post.

Since it's been so long since we've watched it, we pulled out the Lord of the Rings extended versions. We watched one tonight, will pull two for tomorrow, then the final for Sunday evening. Feels so good to have time to bum around together. It's also nice that we share several joys too.

I'll never forget when I saw the Fellowship of the Ring. For some reason, I'd never read these books. I even remember one of my older sisters reading the Hobbit in school, but I never picked them up until adulthood.

Now I own them. My son had to read them before he was allowed to watch the movies so he would have the opportunity to get the most out of the experience. Anytime they come out with a movie that is based upon a classic, I always have him read the book as incentive to see the movie.

Guess it won't be too many more years until that won't work anymore.

But the Lord of the Rings has so much depth. It is more than a movie or book series. It is more than an adventure or quest. These stories encompass the full bandwidth of all life has to offer - the good and the bad. Nothing is sugarcoated.

Life is hard. For some generations it is even more so. But even in the midst of the greatest of trials and battles, there is the blessing of a friend to hold us up, to encourage, to walk alongside.

For that, I love the Fellowship the most.

The Saga Continues

The saga of a friendship gone bad continues.

Last night I decided to get some input from friends and family who know most of the story of how my former friend betrayed me. Their insight into how I might handle this new contact after ten years is very valuable to me.

Most of them were about as shocked as I when I told them she'd contacted me through Facebook. All of them were angry with the audacity that she showed. Some thought I should plow into her after all this time, while others thought it best that I just ignore the note and let sleeping dogs lie.

Literally.

For myself, I was surprised at how little I felt. Maybe I'm still in a slight bit of shock, but my initial reaction still remains. I have no interest in any attempt to dredge up an unsalvageable wreck from the depths.

However, I believe wholeheartedly that it is no coincidence that she contacted me at this exact time and moment after ten years. I believe it goes part and parcel with where God has me at the moment and the underworkings behind the scenes to redirect the path I'm walking in regard to so many things in my life - my job only one small piece of the puzzle.

Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to schedule a time this week to speak to my senior pastor at church. His insight has served me well in the past and my hope is that he can provide me with some options that perhaps I'm unable to see at this point in time - all from a Biblical perspective.

I know my own perspective may be clouded with emotion and judgment toward what she's done in the past and lack of what she's done since then. I want to be totally open and aware of where God may be leading so that I can clearly see the fork in the road, if one truly does exist.

I have no idea or expectation of where this may lead.

Stay tuned. Who knows what might happen next!

Stunning Shock

There's been a stunning development in my personal life just a few moments ago, yet I'm not so sure how to feel about it.

Literally - I'm just stunned right now.

My son has been with his dad this weekend and I've spent some time with friends and having friends over (thus the reason for no posts). Church service this morning was fantastic in our new split format. Great weekend overall.

Returned home from church just a few minutes ago and opened my computer to check my messages before I have to go pick up my son this afternoon. Low and behold there was an unexpected shocker sitting in my inbox.

My old friend, with whom I haven't spoken in nearly ten years, found me through Facebook and left me a message.

This was the dear friend who was like a sister to me - more than a sister because we were dear to each other by choice not blood. We stuck with each other through high school, college, marriage then divorce, children and her remarriage. We saw the highest of highs and lowest of lows that life could bring and knew we'd make it through anything because we had each other. We knew the best and worst of each other and still remained fast friends.

I like to call it "bosom friends" from Anne of Green Gables.

But she's the one who betrayed me ten years ago. This is the friend that I thought would always be there. Then one fateful day it fell away and I felt as though my flesh had been stripped away with it. The pain was raw and with me through torturous years.

Since then, God has blessed me with wonderful new friends and a new view of life and of Him.

But I never forgot about my friend. I always wondered what had happened to her and if her husband stuck with her through her worst. Her children were nearly like my own, and I've wondered often what has happened to them and how they've done without their "Aunt Niecie". I know my son had a hole in his heart too without them around.

It's good to know she's still alive and kicking, but I don't know how to feel about this contact after so long. It brings before me old wounds - healed wounds, but the scars remain. I'm not sure I'd even open this door again. She's never apologized and I'd like to receive that, but attempt a friendship with her again?

I don't think so.

How do you learn to trust again when someone has hurt you so deeply? Forgiveness is freely given, but trust has to be earned back. Do I even allow her an opportunity to try?

I don't think I'm strong enough for that.

Then again - God has shown me a strength in myself I NEVER thought I had (my own family will attest to this).

For now I need time - plenty and lots of time - to sort through the shock and think about this before doing anything.

I at least owe it to my son - he lived through hell and came back right along with me. Whatever choice I make affects him and will establish a huge pattern for how to live life.

The ramifications here are enormous in so many respects.

I think I need to quit rambling now. Must be the shock wearing off.

Stir Crazy Moments

I think I'm starting to go stir crazy.

The last several days I've pretty much been at my computer all day long hunting for jobs, researching agents, querying agents, and working on my second draft cleanup for my book. Haven't hardly stepped outside. Haven't even really done any housework. Haven't been around human companionship - well, except for my son but some days it's hard to call him human.

A few friends have called. I've talked to my mother twice today. Think I'm beginning to drive them all nuts.

They think I need a man.

It's just that I'm so used to being around other people pretty much every single day. This much aloneness is about to create a black hole that will start a chain-reaction and likely suck in the whole universe.

Right now it is important for me to be focused on what I need to accomplish in regard to employment and my book. This does, however, go to show how important people are in our lives. I'm not keen on spending money unnecessarily right now, but this may call for a girlfriend brunch come Saturday.

To all my friends out there - I appreciate you more than you will ever know!

Sometimes it takes a few stir crazy moments to remember that.

Hallmark Channel Sequel Has Arrived!

My mom is going to come up for a visit at the end of the month.

Nothing special going on. No performance of my son's. No special holiday. Just an ordinary weekend.

NOT!

Okay, I'm going to be displaying my girliness here. Excuse me, it's a little embarassing for me.

Last year there was this incredibly wonderful Hallmark Channel movie on called "The Note". The story surrounded a journalist who inherited a column and things weren't going so well. Then there was this terrible plane crash just off-shore of her hometown, the results of a fire onboard the plane that quickly engulfed it. The pilot made a last-ditch effort to steer the plane away from populated areas before it exploded over the ocean.

The journalist wonders if the people on the plane knew that in that moment their lives were going to be snuffed out. Then she gets to wondering what would she do if she knew she was about to die and had no control. If she could tell her loved ones one thing, what would it be?

Jogging along the coast, she happens upon a piece of a lifevest washed up on the rocks. Underneath the lifevest she discovers a plastic baggie with a quickly scribbled note to a "T" from "Dad". She sets out to find who wrote the note and who it was intended for.

She takes her readers along for the journey as she interviews several of the surviving family members from the passenger list. The note touches each one in a powerful way and provides a gift of comfort, even though they were not the intended recipients. In the end, the journalist receives the most incredible gift(s) of all.

I won't tell you the rest. Just watch the Hallmark Channel on the 31st of January for "The Note".

But don't stop there. In the last few days I discovered that they have made a sequel that looks just as good or possibly even better than the original.

Needless to say, the reason for my mother's trip up here since she doesn't have Hallmark Channel at home. The sequel is called "Taking a Chance on Love" and the journalist goes on another journey in the relationships that developed from the first.

In this case, she asks the question - is it better to let one's heart lead in matters of love or take it slow and use more of the head. Not sure exactly where she'll end up with that one, but it does make me think of my own life a little bit.

When we've been smeared all over the place by difficult relationships, it's very hard to trust again - thence the desire to be cautious and take things slow. I know I've rarely allowed myself to experience boyfriend-type relationships since my divorce, but I've struggled with friendship relationships too since the betrayal by my best buddy.

But you know what? I think it is good to be cautious somewhat - not just allow ourselves to be blown about in the breeze. But it's also good to learn how to trust again - just making sure we learn to trust the right kind of people.

I have a tendency to have an awful lot of the head in most of my relationships, whether boyfriend or friendships. But it is best to try and find a healthy balance between the head and the heart. Allowing more heart comes easier for me once I've gotten to know someone a little bit, and that's okay for me.

So getting back to the Hallmark Channel, it will be interesting to see which direction they take the story. I'm so excited I can hardly wait. I think Mom might be a little excited too.

Ya think?

You Go Girl

I just had the most wonderful phone conversation!

For the last several days I've been emailing with a high school friend who was like a family member when we were all growing up. She's actually the same age as my oldest sister, but there was a whole group of them that hung out at our place. Thence the ability to develop my own friendship with her over the years.

After high school we ran into each other here and there from time to time. But then I got married and moved away and lost track of her.

Well thanks to my sister insisting I get a Facebook page, she found me and we've been emailing off and on of late.

Recently we exchanged phone numbers. Since my life has finally slowed down, I picked up the phone and gave her a call this evening. It was so great hearing her voice after all these years and talking for more than an hour. Did NOT mean to tie up her time that much.

She ended up waiting to get married until her thirties. Now she has three young kids (well, at least younger than mine) and her time is tied up in being a wife and mother.

Oh how I envy her (and my sisters) for being able to stay home with her kids. Yes, there are sacrifices that must be made when you live on one income, but the benefits you reap in your children no price can be affixed to. She and her husband have made a very wise decision.

The time will eventually pass and become a memory. Someday again she'll have a life outside the home if she desires.

In the meantime, you go girl!

Making Fun of Gary...and Other Fun Pastimes

The last vestiges of illness are finally starting to die out. Just have a little nagging cough, but otherwise I'm definitely on the mend. Been thinking alot this week.

I sure miss my critique group.

Okay, guys, you can all laugh at me now, but I do miss you (hey, Mighty Bri, even you!). I miss teasing Gary about having no other shirt than his light blue El Paso, Texas t-shirt. I miss whispering to Bri-Bob-Rectangular-Pants (porky pig!). Been missing celebrating Julie's publishing accomplishments (hey, girl, I was even thinking this week about your "appearance" on Fox News). And Tonya, I missed seeing your Halloween costume this year in person (loved the pictures though).

Even though we all have different backgrounds, have different likes and dislikes, various views on the world, and completely opposite genres we like to read and write, you've all become so much more to me than a mere critique group.

You're my friends.

Heck, maybe you would rather not claim me. I get that alot. Oh well, I still miss talking to you and having our second and fourth Thursday gatherings. I look forward to the day the play is over (in a way) and I can get back into the swing of things - chew the fat, offer my two cents (if it's even worth that much), make fun of Gary, see a whole new side of the supernatural, etc.

Yup, it's now official. I truly have no life. ;-)

Party, Party, Party!

Short and sweet tonight. The birthday party has gone great. First time we did coed. Had a great time. Now the boys are spending the night and getting prepared for their evening festivities.

I just hope they keep it down in there.

Nine of us went out to eat at Kyoto's Japanese Steakhouse. We'd been there once before last winter/spring and my son has been begging to go back since. When I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday the first thing out of his mouth was - KYOTO'S!

My pocketbook hurts, but it was well worth it.

Just returned from taking the girls home. They were really fun - one of them reminded me of myself a little bit when I was younger. I can see why my son is friends with her. :-)

Anyhoo, it's been a long day. Am getting ready to retire and get a little bit of sleep (I hope). The guys will probably be up for several hours yet.

It's been a great day and he had a great party.

Sleep tight!

It's About Commitment

You know tonight was interesting.

Yes, another critique group meeting. Only thing about it - we didn't have any submissions to critique. Typically in the past that meant we were going to put off meeting until the following regularly scheduled time.

Tonight we decided to meet anyway.

Gary and Tonya just returned from a trip to Montana. Heck, they snuck across the border into Wyoming, those rascally scaliwags. Someone call the Wyoming State Police!

Then we talked about Julie's secret invitation and upcoming trip to an Indian ceremonial preserve in South Dakota. Sounds mysterious. Maybe she'll have a chance to hear the sounds of the breaking of small animal bones on the drive. Sorry - inside joke.

We discussed our writing, or lack thereof, publishing opportunities, an upcoming meeting with an agent next weekend, and contest results. There were a few current job comments thrown about. There was even a discussion that popped up about a local strip club owner.

Don't ask.

Then we started talking about columns and blogging. Blogging takes commitment, a staying kind of attitude. It isn't for everyone. I must admit, there are times when I sit down to write and have no clue what I'm going to mention. Then my son will say something off the wall, my mom will call, or I'll see a news article that gets my blood pumping.

Speaking of news articles, I'm actually excited about the upcoming election - but that's another story.

Blogging helps me have a purpose in my writing. Gee, it's about the only fun writing I'm doing right now, so there's no way I can stop. It's obvious I have no life right now anyway.

I think tonight proved that. Nah, it just proves that instead of a bunch of people meeting to talk about writing, we've become something more.

Friendship - how cool is that?

"Bosom" Friends

Friends are so wonderful.

My best friend, Lori, just left. She and I have known each other for years, but it's only been within the last three years or so that we've become close. Friends are to me like the air I breathe. It isn't just a nice thing to have but an absolute necessity.

The fact that we can both share difficulties and joys and truly commiserate one with another or celebrate each other's big moments are such a lifeline. Everyone needs that kind of a friend whether they realize it or not.

Some people never experience such a friendship. I truly feel sorry for them because they have no idea what they are missing in life. When I lost a dear friend to me years before, I wondered if I'd ever find that kind of friendship with anyone else ever again.

It made me think of David and Jonathan from scripture. Jonathan's father, Saul, was king of Israel. Jonathan was next in line for the throne, but he recognized God's anointing of David as the next king. They had an incredibly close friendship that only ended in death. King David provided for Jonathan's surviving son, Mephibosheth. That's how much his friendship with Jonathan meant.

I've always wondered if David ever had such a friend again. Scripture doesn't record anything, but friendships like that don't happen often. It saddened me to think that after I lost my best friend that I might never find such a friend again. Someone who wasn't afraid to let it all hang out and be okay with it. Someone who lived every moment of life with passion and enthusiasm. Someone who could laugh with you one moment and cry the next. Someone who wasn't ashamed of being human.

It is so hard to believe that I've been blessed with such a dear friendship again. It makes me think of Anne of Green Gables when she spoke of "bosom friends". That's what such a friendship is like to me too.

So thanks to my "bosom" friends out there.

Free At Last!

My son is leaving to visit his dad for a week. Okay, okay, this may sound bad but I'm looking forward to it.

We've been really busy lately, out of town, yada-yada-yada, so I haven't had any time to actually do much writing since I finished my last book. So I've planned my free week to get back into the writing saddle. Plus I'll find some time to spend with my friends (party, party, party!).

It may sound weird coming from an almost 40-year old, but spending time with friends is so much fun. Makes me feel like a kid again sometimes. My girlfriends and I look forward to these moments when we can have movie marathons, play cards, drink soda (we're good girls, we are!), eat pizza. etc. etc. Plus the calories don't count when spread with friendship. I finally get to break in my new house too.

Somewhere in between I'll have to squeeze in work, but for now I feel like someone who's been looking forward to a long vacation.

Then I'll be ready to welcome my son home again from his vacation.