Christmas Life

The Christmas season has officially begun!

At least around our house anyway. :-)

Mom and Dad brought my son home and spent the rest of the weekend with us as tradition dictates. We've got our tree up and in the water, presents purchased, and I'm getting ready to start doing some decorating around the house.

Now if only I could keep up with the dishes and dusting.

Christmas is typically my favorite time of year (Independence Day a close second), but this year it feels a little more mellowed for some reason. A year ago brought alot of heartache and upset right around this time with my mother's cancer diagnosis followed swiftly by my grandma's passing (mom's mom). Eleven years ago this Christmas Eve was also the time my dear grandpa passed away. There seems to be alot of hurt attached to this time of year anymore.

Back when I was married (sooo many moons ago) I was just starting out in the banking industry and didn't have enough seniority to get time off at Christmas. My husband's family lived in Nebraska and he would take off a week or two and go up to see them. I'd go a couple of hours south and drive back Christmas night.

I remember vividly that first Christmas night driving back home all alone. As I entered the city, it was eerie in its silence and disturbing in its darkness. Nary a car was in sight as I roamed the streets and pulled into the garage. Walking into the empty house brought such pangs of loneliness of which I've rarely experienced since.

My ex and I never spent a single Christmas together.

Which is why after the divorce, Christmas became my favorite holiday once again. I had no good Christmas memories from my marriage to cloud my future happy holidays.

But 1999 muddied the waters for awhile after the loss of my very best friend forever and ever between Thanksgiving and Christmas that year and then the passing of my grandpa that Christmas Eve. It was several hard years after that before Christmas again became a festive time for us.

So even though there's rather a mellowed sense of the season this year, there's also so much life to celebrate in that Mom is doing great and my family continues to draw close to one another through these tough times.

And isn't new life what we're really celebrating at Christmas anyway?

That's what I thought.