A Bitter New Year

Can I be honest here?

Thus far, the New Year has been a real bite for my family. I'd love to use more colorful language here, but I've never used such language and wonder, why bother starting now?

Besides my dear mother's recent diagnosis of breast cancer, my grandmother (mom's mom) passed away last Friday morning. We had her services Tuesday.

For one thing I am thankful. When I went down last week to accompany my mother to her follow-up doctor's appointment and scans, we spent a few hours at the nursing home visiting Grandma. Even though she was virtually unresponsive most of our visit, I do believe she was able to hear us and tried to talk once. Two of my aunts were there to see to her care while my mother was occupied with her own health needs those days. I'm so glad they were there to be together during such difficult circumstances.

They even were able to stop by Mom and Dad's to celebrate with my mother her good news Wednesday evening. Just before five, the doctor's office received the scan results and immediately called my mother. The scans appeared clear - no cancer anywhere else in the body, not in the lymph nodes and not in the chest wall muscle. It's all appears to be contained in the breast tissue.

So I guess that's two things I'm thankful for.

Now it is a race to reach the 27th, when my mother's mastectomy surgery is scheduled. Everyday counts at this point - Mom really wants to get that cancer out of her body before there is any chance of it spreading further.

We're praying for a miracle - that can come directly from the Lord's hand or through the hands of a doctor. I want to keep my mother around for many years to come. Call me selfish if you want.

Then we'll see at the end of the year - maybe it won't end up so bad after all.

State of Being

Just talked to one of my girl friends this evening. She's struggling with the New Year and being all alone once again.

So she and I took a little walk down the lane of memories from 2008. I tried to remind her of all sorts of wonderful and breakthrough things that have happened this past year. Back up from the heart-feelings a little bit and run up to the head for some logic.

In 2008, she's had an opportunity to see relationships from two different sides. She's not feeling so connected to the single scene she usually runs with. I told her that was wonderful! It means that she is starting to grow and heal beyond what certain segments of society can offer. What a neat opportunity to explore potential friendships in other circles.

See sometimes we as singles can get so stuck in our singleness that we can't identify with anything or anyone else. It becomes all about us - all about finding that someone to soothe our past pains and make life worth living again. Wrongo!

The only problem is that it focuses all of our attention on ourselves. There are so many other ways to identify our lives other than that we are broken and act as if singleness is a disease that we have to eradicate as quickly as possible.

Singleness isn't who we are but simply a state. There are so many married people who wish they were single. There's so many opportunities in singlehood that one doesn't have when we are married, yet marriage is honorable as well. The problem is getting stuck in the mindset that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

So whether you are in a single or married state, find a way this year to see and identify yourself by another label. Perhaps you're a great mom, great employee, incredible singer or actor or gardener. My sister is an incredible cook while I'm only average. But I can cry on command in a play (I'm not sure, but I don't think she has this as an accomplishment - love ya, sis!).

Tear out those labels you don't like and write in a new one. Yes, you may be single but it's time to stop focusing on your state of being and find a better identity.

After all, colds may be catching. Singleness isn't. Celebrate your life wherever you are in 2009.

And my friend? We got off of our phone call laughing and celebrating the great strides she's made and looking toward where she's going in the new year.

Married or single.

Ringing In The New Year

Ringing in the New Year soon.

I think I'll go to bed.

When I was younger we used to stay up as late as possible. My parents would invite alot of family to the house and we'd toast in the New Year with Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice.

The red grape, of course.

Then when I had a place of my own I'd invite a ton of friends and whoever would come, we'd end up having a smashing time playing cards and board games, singing along with my CD's (actually cassettes back then - didn't have a CD player yet), and then toast in the New Year with - of course - Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice.

Some traditions never change.

But the last few years I've not made it until the wee hours of the 1st of January. Sometimes we'd go over to a friend's house. Sometimes we'd have friends over. Generally we haven't stayed late and get home and to bed before the dropping of the ball in Times Square.

This year we find ourselves home and alone. I'm not at all upset by it, as we've had a wonderful time with family and friends already the last several days. Saturday we're going to my boss' house for a special celebration with all my co-workers and their families. It's always so nice and alot of fun.

So spending this evening alone, just the two of us watching movies and eating Christmas candy (my thighs will hate me in the morning), I'm perfectly at ease. It's been a busy season for the last several months, so it's quite comforting to be spending time at home with my son.

So whether you are gathering with family and/or friends, hosting a party of your own, or finding yourself alone tonight, may I wish each of you a wonderful, blessed, and prosperous New Year.

Smooth Sailing

In a couple of hours we'll be heading down to Oklahoma to visit the family. I'll probably be out of commission for a few days, unless I'm actually able to commandeer the computer from the kids.

Doubtful.

So our Christmas continues with (thankfully) clear skies and clear roads. Just the wind is present today to tickle our ears and noses.

It's Kansas - what can you expect?

So here's once again wishing you continued blessings with your families and friends as the Christmas season winds down and the New Year approaches.

Hopefully we won't have anymore strange roadway episodes with four new tires. Smooth sailing, you here?

I'm Back!

Tonight I officially rejoined my critique group. It was great to be back, though I'm still dealing with the effects of sleepiness.

Nothing like a group hug to get you in the mood for Christmas. Everyone looked great. Caught up on the family talk, the work discussions, and what all one can do with a camera phone.

Just ask Gary.

Since I still didn't have but one free night this week, I didn't get to do any critiquing. We all decided to shoot the breeze tonight anyway so the New Year will bring time to finish critiquing stories.

Got to hear about another new story idea Brian is cooking up. Not into horror personally myself, but I really like this new concept he's working on. Gave me goosebumps just to hear the skeleton of his ideas. Knowing Mighty Bri, it will be pretty interesting to see how he puts his conceptualizations onto paper.

Christmas is two weeks from tonight, so we won't be meeting at our regularly scheduled time. Gee, I finally show back up and we have to take an extended break. I feel so loved!

Well it will give me something to again look forward to in the New Year.