Friday, October 24, 2008

Shining Through

Well tonight was pizza and a movie. Normally we'd be going to my hometown this weekend for the Neewollah festival in Independence, but with the schedule lately and the fact that my son is trying to get a job, I need all the at home time right now I can get.

So tonight we ordered Pizza Hut pizza and watched "Shining Through". It's the only rated R movie I've ever let my son see (we skip the brief sex scene) because of the content of the movie. With my mind back in the forties and World War II, I thought it was about time to get that one back out again, get a feel for the era and study the clothes.

This is one of my all-time favorite movies. It tells the story of an older woman recalling to a BBC reporter her experiences as an American spy planted in Germany during the war. Funny thing about it - she's a Jew seeking to go into the country that is rounding up and killing Jews or sending them to concentration camps. Due to her ability to speak fluent German, but against the wishes of her superior, she volunteers for the project when their double-agent is discovered and murdered.

They plant her behind enemy lines to act as a domestic cook to a wealthy and influential officer of the Third Reich. She was to dazzle them with her cooking skills. Problem was, she arrived with only two hours to prepare. The dinner was a disaster and she was summarily dismissed.

Walking home, she is picked up by the highest ranking officer in attendance at the dinner party. In desperate need of a nanny for his two children after the death of his wife, he encourages her to accept the post so he doesn't have to go through the endless paperwork to clear someone else (thinking she'd already been through a proper Gestapo check). She sees a briefcase with important papers sticking out and makes a critical decision.

That night she fell off the radar of the American spy network and accepted the position. For two months she watches and searches and waits until the right moment. The secret room in the basement finally shows itself and she secures the pictures of a German production facility developing self-propelled rockets and tracking systems in Peenemunde.

The problem - how does she get out of Germany with the information? The American network doesn't know where she is. Worse, could a friend have betrayed her? Will she be discovered before she can get safely away from the Nazis? Will it be the death of her and those she loves?

Yes, it's an older movie from the 80's (if I remember correctly) but an incredible movie about the sacrifices so many people were willing to make for freedom and the heartbreak and chaos caused when evil is allowed to run unchecked.

And just think - real people actually fought to keep not only America free but to give freedom back to those from whom it had been stripped.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Giving In Return

It sure feels wonderful to have the opportunity to give back to those who give so much of themselves.

My church participates and hosts an annual event every year for Shepherd's Fold Ministries. It's a ministry that ministers to ministers.

Confused yet?

A pastor of one of the churches in our community started an organization ten years ago this year when he retired from his pastorate. The purpose was to provide a safe haven, a retreat for area pastors to get away with their families and spend time with other pastors to strengthen one another and support each other. The life of a pastor is one that makes it hard to make friends - REAL friends who will listen when they have frustrations, hurts, and doubts just like the rest of us do. Sometimes people in the church are best at eating and spitting out their own.

Who better to talk to about and understand what a pastor is going through than another pastor.

The ministry pays to bring in pastors from all over the state who need nourishment for their own souls and time with their own families. Our church provides the space for their conference time and then one evening our choir and orchestra gather members from other choirs and orchestras from other surrounding churches who wish to participate and we sing and play and lift up these pastors in worship.

We get to minister to the ministers.

Started out reaching pastors in Kansas. This year they brought in some pastors from Missouri too. They hope to reach pastors in other surrounding states eventually.

In all my years participating in our choir, I've never been available to be involved in this event. Priorities have to be set and I've made critique group my Thursday night priority since rejoining the choir. But since I took a break from critique for the play, I thought about doing it this year. This would be my one and only opportunity to actually participate in giving back. Only thing is that being away from home Monday night, Tuesday night, and Wednesday night I knew I'd be exhausted come Thursday.

Wasn't planning to participate then. But then our drama director for the play told us she had to be out of town this past Monday night. That left Monday for relaxing at home. That would leave me open to consider Thursday.

The door was open. I walked through it. Sure glad I did. Yes, I'm absolutely spent this evening after arriving home. Can hardly keep my eyes open sitting here writing for my blog. But my heart is full.

And I thought I gave it all away tonight too. Guess that's what is so wonderful about giving - you always get something back in return.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Happy As Clams

It sure is nice to know your kids are happy.

Just walked in the door this evening from play rehearsal. My son was in his bathroom getting ready for bed, singing at the top of his lungs. I love it when he does that. No matter how I may be feeling at any given moment, hearing him belt out a song for all he's worth just warms my heart. It's always been a good indication that all is well in his world.

The beard is coming back in darker and heavier this time. Still isn't happening fast enough for him, but I see a big difference when I stop long enough to notice.

His grades are looking fine! School this year has not been a constant battle and he's much more relaxed with himself (as am I).

Friendships are going very good. I hear new names practically every week. Used to when he'd mention someone new that he'd talked to (or more likely that had come up to him to talk) I'd ask their name and he never could remember. Now it seems the names are spilling from the woodwork, if I may use a cliche.

He'd also like to eventually have a girlfriend, but I'm okay with where he's at presently. No need for someone to play with his head until it's fully on straight. Been praying about that whole thing practically since he was born!

Then the job situation - nothing yet but he's hopeful and actually looking forward to the possibility. A little nervous still, but that's to be expected. I think the excitement is beginning to outweigh the fear factor.

All-in-all he's as happy as a clam right now. Guess that makes me right there with him.

Monday, October 20, 2008

On The Hunt

For the last several weeks, my son has been putting in job applications around town. So far no takers. That's okay - I'm still proud of him anyway.

Initially when we talked about the concept of him getting a job he wasn't all that excited about the prospects. I think it was more fear than anything. But now that he's really considering what a job can do for him (and what the money can eventually buy) he's starting to get anxious to get something soon.

Sunday afternoon we went around and he dropped off four more applications at various fast food joints. Fast food jobs are usually the best kind of opportunities for first employment. There's several with "Now Hiring" out on their signs or in their windows. We thought he had a real chance at the job at Wendy's, but they really need someone who can close.

Sorry, not going to happen on a school night.

I'm also requiring him to keep Wednesday evenings open. We're hoping for Sundays open too, but if it comes right down to it I'll let him work Sundays as long as it is after 3:00. I will not allow a job to come before church and family lunch gathering. Other than that he's available any evening, pretty much all day Saturday - heck I'm even letting him consider closing on a Friday night. Figured Friday availability would be a good opener in this town, since so many are playing sports and unavailable then.

And yet several weeks in he's still searching. I told him that getting that first job was going to require some work, but that once he had something - anything really - on that resume then he had a better chance at getting a job that he'd like to have. He'd really like to work at Border's Bookstore.

I told him he needs to finish getting his hours in for driving before then. I'm not going to spend my evenings running too and fro. That's at least where I put my foot down. At least here in town he can walk or it is a quick jaunt for me in bad weather.

For now though he'll keep at it until he's exhausted all possibilities.

I guess then we'll just start all over. Heck, there's plenty of good jobs out there. Sometimes you've got to dig to find that diamond in the rough.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A New TV Show - I'm Hooked!

I came across a completely different kind of TV show this week. It definitely engages my mind - literally!

Monday night we finished up our play rehearsal a little early. Made it home just before nine o'clock, said goodnight to my son and proceeded to do my workout on the treadmill.

I usually watch a little TV to make the time pass a bit faster when I work out. Started on Channel 2 and proceeded to flip my way through the channels to see if there was anything interesting. Boy, I'll say there was.

Apparently I happened to catch the very first episode of a new show - "My Own Worst Enemy". Had Christian Slater as the lead character. That immediately grabbed my attention. I used to think he was hot when I was younger. He played in a movie, something about Billie Jean and had Helen Slater in it (no relation).

This sucker is so cool (except for the gratuitous sex scene at the beginning - this is television now days? Where've I been?), and engaged my brain all the way through it. Supposedly this guy, Edward, is a super-spy, speaks 13 different languages, can hold his breath underwater for five minutes, received the Congressional Medal of Honor, you name it. However, when he gets back from a mission they put the normal side of his brain to sleep and awaken his alter ego personality, Henry, a loving husband with two children who know nothing of his "dark" side.

Sort of a take on the Jekyll and Hyde thing I guess.

Anyway, the programming starts to go south and they lose control over when Henry is awake and when Edward is awake. Henry awakens right in the middle of Edward's assassination mission and can't figure out how he ended up in Russia with a sniper rifle in his hands.

Eventually Edward (who volunteered for this project 19 years before) communicates with Henry to try to save his/their life because the bad guy Edward was supposed to assassinate in Russia is coming after him/them. Edward mails a CD recording of himself to Henry with a message. The end of this particular episode is Henry sending Edward a CD recording of himself to thank him for the message that ultimately saved his/their life.

It's a little confusing, but I've got to say that Christian Slater does a masterful job of switching between the two personalities. You can see his facial expressions change before your eyes when he is Henry the docile businessman and then becomes Edward the cutthroat spy.

Needless to say, I'm kinda glad we're not having rehearsal this coming Monday night. I just may have to dust off my old blank VHS tapes and start taping this thing until the play is over with. Don't want to miss a single episode if I can help it.

It's been almost 16 years since I last followed a TV show. Maybe it's okay to start up again.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Life Being Lived

Gotta admit - I'm not sure what I'm writing about tonight.

We've had a busy week, but a good one. That's the best of both worlds (wait a minute - I think I've had too much Disney exposure over the years).

My cats have noticed my absence around the house a little bit lately. Every time I walk around the house my feet are tangled with the rascally things. The moment I take time to just sit down, my lap is filled with fluff.

It's kinda nice to be missed.

They've still got my son around the house, but I'm the one that spoils them rotten. Matter of fact, we just finished our movie night and almost the entire time my lap had Paws filling it. Now that I've sat here at the computer, he's sitting in the office window intermittently looking out the window then staring at me.

Aw - he just meowed all cute-like.

My son's been enjoying some additional time to himself, but I think he's glad to have me home a bit more this week. He's enjoying some last free evenings until he gets a job. I think he'll be making a few follow-up calls tomorrow at some of the places he's applied.

Gotta admit, I'm enjoying doing the play more than I realized I would. Just feels good being back on the stage again. Now if only I can get my voice to cooperate, this will be a great performance to be a part of.

Okay - I didn't know what to write about when I sat down so I just spilled out a little bit of everything at the moment.

Gee, I need to call my friends and play a little catch-up this weekend too.

Life - it never ends. And that's a good thing.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

What's With The Waterworks?

Last night I FINALLY received my practice CD for the play. There are a few songs I have to sing but one is a solo/duet. I think it is important for me to get a little bit of time to rehearse it too.

What's with the waterworks in this play????????

The song starts as my character is listening to the radio. She and her father have just had a discussion about life, loss, love, and moving on. Then her pop goes off to bed and she turns up the radio again to hear Miss Stella Ashton singing "Everytime I Turn Around".

My character is already missing her husband after not seeing him for five months. He was supposed to try and be home for Thanksgiving. Didn't happen. The Christmas season has begun and she's not sure he'll make it home then either. The thought of a Christmas without him is just tearing her apart.

Then the song comes on.

It's one of those old crooning songs. The words speak of seeing reminders of him from the ceiling to the ground, everytime she turns around - a favorite book, his hat, the footfalls on the stairs, his laugh, his smile.

Once again, when I think about my character I can't help but just have tears welling up in my eyes at the hurt she feels. The song is very powerful. What the heck am I going to do if I start crying during the song at performance time?

I mean, we just finished a difficult walk down memory lane that makes me tear up. I'm already going to feel emotional and sniffly (won't that sound great in the microphones) and then I'm supposed to sing a song with an already only halfway there voice?

This is not going to be pretty.

Maybe I've let my head get too deep into this story. Maybe I need to not think about it so much. Okay, I know there's no way I can do a play without immersing myself into it completely. Never was able to do ANYTHING halfway - why start now?

Just remember - if you come I've already warned you.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Enough Said

Well we finished up with the first run-through of the final scene tonight.

Gosh, I tear up easy during this thing - even if it is only rehearsals!

The final scene encompasses some sad goodbyes, letting go of dreams, and accepting the hard spots in life even when we don't understand why God allows them. The sister to my character has to say goodbye to a man she didn't realize she loved until he was gone - off to war. My character gets a telegram from the war department.

Enough said.

But even in the midst of the sadness and fear of the unknown, a ray of sunshine comes strolling in.

I'll leave it at that.

For those of you in the area, you're just going to have to take time out of your busy schedules the first weekend of December to come and see how it all turns out. Yes, Brian, it is in a church but this isn't heavy-handed. It has some very real moments that relate to what we see on the news even today.

And it even bears relavance to the world where it was 2,000 years ago. Humanity - we've changed so little in our years on this earth.

Enough said.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Cattle Prods and Casting Calls

Oh boy - next week we're supposed to be off book for ongoing play rehearsals.

I'm not even near ready.

In years past, I was a very quick memorizer (is that a word?). I'd pick up on lines very quickly and even knew everyone else's lines too. This evening I did okay on my lines but it's the lead-in line that is still getting to me.

My brain just doesn't have the capacity it once had. And no, don't you dare say it is age talking. Seems to me it is being out of practice with learning how to memorize.

Why can't I get this? It's frustrating the living tar out of me that I haven't memorized the entire thing in just two weeks.

Am I expecting too much? Ya think?

Okay, I'm not the living, breathing, walking computer brain I once was, but there's still got to be a better way to get all of this in my head. How did I used to do this? I just cannot remember doing anything other than reading through a script over and over and then reading it out loud to myself.

One of the ladies this evening said she tapes herself reading the entire script with blank places where she's supposed to say her lines. Then she burns it on a CD and takes it with her everywhere she goes to play it over and over and over again. That way she gets away from the book and HAS to get her line in during the silent sections.

Maybe it's going to take doing something new like that. I don't know, but I'm getting a little stressed about being able to handle all of this. Deep breaths - shake it off.

It will come. It's just going to be a little slower than it used to be. It isn't like I'm going to be electrocuted with a cattle prod if I don't get my lines correct.

Hmmm, wouldn't put it past Ruth to try something drastic when you get right down to it.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.

Tonight was my son's first choir performance of his sophomore year.

If I may use an 80's lingo - it was AWESOME!

One of the numbers his class did just about brought down the house. They sang "Do You Love Me" and at the beginning my son had a speaking solo part. He rocked it out. It was completely obvious that he had fun with that one.

Alot of the music they did was from the 80's era - I loved every minute of it! So up my alley, as well as alot of other parents too, I'm sure. They did "Freeze Frame" a song I'd completely forgotten about. They jazzed it up with these glow in the dark gloves and these big glow-in-the-dark rubber bands that they had attached to their hands and feet and they framed themselves in it. Totally cool (totally!).

Sorry, I just had a Valley Girl moment there.

The newer parents were just in awe of the performance. I told some of them to wait until the end of the year review. That will completely knock their socks off.

Mr. Engels, once again you have completely outdone yourself.

I can hardly wait to see what's next!