Big Movie Weekend

The big weekend is here. The big night is here.

Mom and Dad came in last night for the Hallmark Channel sequel to "The Note". Since they don't have the Hallmark Channel on their basic cable, my mom decided to come up and make a weekend of it.

Dad decided to tag along too.

So at the moment we're watching "The Note" and anxiously anticipating the sequel "Taking a Chance on Love" which follows at eight. Since tonight is our present movie night, we decided to wait and have pizza tonight followed by four hours of Hallmark Channel goodness.

Ooops! The commercial is over - I'd better get back in there to finish watching.

I'm so excited!

Class Rings Already?

Oh my goodness, we are at class ring ordering status, baby! Another milestone - wow.

My son received information this week concerning class rings. I can't believe we're already at that stage. The years are going to just fly by at this point.

Tonight we went on Jostens website to play with the "build a ring" designing thingy. They have so many incredible choices for men's rings that they didn't have for girls when I was young. Maybe it's just that there's so much more room on a guy's ring.

Anyway, we put the school mascot on one side and the drama/music/art symbols on the other side. He wants the dual metal look of silver/gold too (figured he'd like that one - my suggestion). Even though he doesn't know it yet, he also chose the square style I figured he'd like. So manly.

The pricing sure hurts - ouch! I'd rather he go ahead and order it now so he can wear it for at least two years. You know, get his money's worth out of it. Well, more like MY money's worth but who's counting. :-)

So we printed it out, and he's going to sleep on it tonight. Orders will be accepted next week at school and they'll receive their rings probably by the end of this school year.

Just hope his fingers don't grow a whole heck of alot between now and graduation in a couple of years.

Headshot

Feeling a bit under the weather tonight, so in lieu of writing about something I'm just going to post the headshot picture from the Christmas play last month. Our music pastor recently sent it to me. The bottom contained my name and character, but for privacy sake I had to crop that off.

It would have been fun to have gotten shots of us in our updo's and costumes too, but I haven't seen any of that from rehearsal night. I think our hair actually got more elaborate as the days went on that week anyway, so dress rehearsal probably wouldn't have done it justice. Plus my friend, Lori, played with my costumes all week too until I had some of the best outfits I could possibly imagine.

So here's to the 1940's, Pearl Harbor, and Christmas. May the memories never die.

Old Faithful

It hasn't even been two months since I got over the last bout, and now I'm trying to come down with a nasty cold again.

Probably related to being a bit stressed out of late. Haven't hardly been out of the house, so I really don't think it is something picked up elsewhere unless from church.

You know, this whole getting sick all the time stuff is ridiculous. Before stress got to me years before, I had an iron-clad immune system. I NEVER got sick. The only times I missed work were when I had to stay home and take care of my son because he got sick.

A friend of mine warned me about that when they start kindergarten.

So it is really hard now getting sick at the drop of a hat. There's all sorts of articles out there on stress and how it affects the body, mind, and spirit. Most of all, I'm just worried about the body part.

Did you know they even have the American Institute of Stress? Amazing!

Some days I'm almost tempted to live in a bubble. Oh yeah, like that will work. Several years ago I decided to join a gym and work out several times a week to try to improve my overall health because I was told exercise would help strengthen my immune system.

Crap!

When cold and flu season hit, I would pick up everything from those stupid machines. Then I'd be out of the gym for about a month or so to avoid spreading the love. Once well, I would return only to come down with round two. Then round three!

Did that for two years. I was paying for services I was not being rendered, plus the cost of doctor visits, missed work, and any medications needed to help me kick the junk. Decided it wasn't worth it any longer.

So I bought a treadmill instead.

Getting out and around other people was so nice and alot of fun, but the corresponding rhinovirus attacks left me in the cold. Therefore I've become a home body when it comes to working out. I've got my ten minute pilates DVD and my treadmill. Except for a couple of months after the big move last year I've been a faithful adherent.

I just wish this cold stuff wasn't so faithful. Yes, I know - this too shall pass.

Unemployed and Staying Positive

This evening I've been a bum.

For several days throughout this past week, I've been really stressed about the job situation. The one thing that has excited me was helping a friend.

In order to try and relax a bit today, I decided to do just menial chores around the house, taking my time at them too, playing around on the computer (refused to go to any job search sites), reading, and finished watching a movie a little bit ago.

Gosh, it felt good to relax today.

Started the morning off by going to meet a friend for brunch. We ate pancakes, talked about her life, my job situation, and just had fun being all girlie-girl together. When I arrived back home, I decided that we'd just do a few things to spruce up the place, take care of laundry, and relax. Really needed it after a hard week.

You know, I actually feel bad for people who are off work for enormously extended periods. For me it's only been a week, and I'm about to go nuts. Can you imagine what I'd be doing if it was for a month, two, a year?

Which is why I took matters into my own hands. I was not going to sit around the house worrying all day. The best thing for me would be to do this volunteer time and spend less scoping out the job atmosphere. Staying busy and feeling like I'm making a difference in others' lives helps to keep the positive feelings flowing.

For anyone out there without a job right now - I'm thinking of you. Try and find something you enjoy doing for others while you are off and avoid the overwhelming job hunt for a few hours each day or a few days each week. It will help to stay positive when that great job interview comes along.

And remember - it will come along.

To Do Or Not To Do

Tonight I'm feeling a little torn.

I've been talking to a friend of mine all week concerning coming into her shop and helping her with managing her employees, teaching them some soft-sell techniques, marketing skills, etc. We're planning to meet Monday to finalize things for me to get out of the house and work with her until more permanent employment comes my way.

The plan is basically that I would volunteer my time until she could pay me something for my work. She'd scratch my back a bit and I'd scratch hers. My goal is to help out a dear friend in difficult circumstances and also to help keep myself sharp.

This evening I received a call from my former boss. He and his wife were out to dinner with another couple and they brought up my current problems with trying to find additional lucrative employment. One of them made a call to someone they know and - BOOM - they want me to come in next week.

I should be overjoyed. I should be excited.

Actually I was more excited to try and help out my friend. Be an entrepreneur for a little while and get my feet wet.

The entrepreneurial bug bit me long ago. For the last ten years my life has been involved with helping small businesses, government relations, etc. I've learned so many things and had the opportunity for experiences I'd never before chanced.

It also made me excited about someday going into business for myself. For now, I just didn't have the guts to do it with the responsibilities of my son, my home, etc.

After being laid-off from the corporate world, I actually have been excited about helping a small business directly - utilizing so many of the skills I've learned throughout my life. Even though it's scary, what do I have to lose right now? Absolutely nothing!

So now I'm faced with the possibility that I may have to choose between going back into corporate America or the excitement and hard work necessary to see the backbone of America succeed.

Tough position at the moment. Well all I can do is see what they've got to offer. My friend could still use my help on the side or at least during the time I have left at home.

Then again, I could choose to take the risk, throw the known aside and head into the frightening yet exciting world of entrepreneurship.

Prayers would be appreciated right about now.

Rebuilding What Is Broken

Parenting can be hard sometimes.

A dear friend of mine has had a devil of a time with her daughters. The tug-of-war with her ex-spouse hasn't helped either, but she's trying her best to maintain a somewhat stable relationship with them.

Kids sure need that - from both of their parents.

Can't tell you how many people I know who deal with the tug-of-war. In most cases it seems one spouse cannot let go of the other spouse - more likely their anger at the other spouse - and so use the kids to try and get back at their former squeeze.

It's never a pretty picture. The kids are the ones who usually end up so emotionally scarred from the battles, and you know what they say? Hurt people hurt people. The whole thing becomes a vicious cycle that can be perpetrated for generations to come.

One thing I've learned in watching my friend go through her battles is that at some point you have to let go of trying to understand or control the other individual. No, it isn't fair that he continues dragging her and the kids back through court all the time, but news flash! Life is never fair, and it's time more parents understood this.

Doesn't mean she just bends over and grabs the ankles. Doesn't mean she gives up on her kids. But somewhere along the line you have to decide what is ultimately going to be best for everyone, not just yourself.

My friend? She ended up letting her ex-husband have primary custody of her girls. You know what? One came back to her on her own volition. The relationship with the other one improved dramatically because the ex stopped fighting with her. No child support to fight over and no relationships to continue tearing apart.

Rebuilding what has been torn down is hard work. First there's the clean-up before reconstruction can begin. Then there's the preparation of the groundwork and laying of the foundations. None of it happens overnight.

But I think time is on their side.

Stir Crazy Moments

I think I'm starting to go stir crazy.

The last several days I've pretty much been at my computer all day long hunting for jobs, researching agents, querying agents, and working on my second draft cleanup for my book. Haven't hardly stepped outside. Haven't even really done any housework. Haven't been around human companionship - well, except for my son but some days it's hard to call him human.

A few friends have called. I've talked to my mother twice today. Think I'm beginning to drive them all nuts.

They think I need a man.

It's just that I'm so used to being around other people pretty much every single day. This much aloneness is about to create a black hole that will start a chain-reaction and likely suck in the whole universe.

Right now it is important for me to be focused on what I need to accomplish in regard to employment and my book. This does, however, go to show how important people are in our lives. I'm not keen on spending money unnecessarily right now, but this may call for a girlfriend brunch come Saturday.

To all my friends out there - I appreciate you more than you will ever know!

Sometimes it takes a few stir crazy moments to remember that.

Cats Make Great Writer's Block

Cats make great writer's block.

Instead of looking for a new job today, I decided to spend the entire time at the computer creating an agent contact listing in preparation for querying agents about my book. Throughout the day, one of my cats kept climbing up into my lap and then onto the desk - right in front of my computer screen.

Heck, one time he even tried grabbing the pointer on the screen. I kept spinning it around in circles, hoping it would make him dizzy and he'd get off the desk.

Worked about as good then as it is doing now. At the moment, I'm having to peek around the cat and hoping my fingers are on the correct keys.

My writer's block has cleared!!!

So where was I? Oh yes - spent the day studying literary agents and compiling an Excel spreadsheet with their contact information. Tomorrow I'm going to clean up and sharpen the first few chapters a little bit, send out several queries via email, then spend some time on Career Builder seeing if there are some applicable job postings.

Have to admit, I'm feeling a little torn. Right now I wish I was in a position to take some extended time off to really devote to my writing and selling of my book(s). I'm seeing this layoff as a real opportunity to switch gears somewhat and focus - maybe even doing something completely different.

But there's still the mortgage and utilities to be paid. Financially I'd be in a sweet position if the markets hadn't tanked the last few months. If worse had come to worse, I could have just cashed in some of my 401k and paid off the house.

Magic mirror on the wall, I wish you'd told the future!

Even so, I think I can combine my efforts during the possible weeks I'll be off work (please, not months) and take advantage of having the time to really push my book(s) as well as search for work. The technological age does have many benefits, doesn't it?

Last year a friend of mine made the leap from full-time employment to full-time writing. Lucky stiff! He and his wife spent a few years preparing as a lead-in to taking this step and getting bills paid off and finances in order, etc. However, his wife still maintains her job and they're making it just fine.

Guess that's why it's a little hard for me to take such a step of faith, since I am the sole provider of my family. The pressure was always there, but it didn't feel so heavy until I was without paycheck.

Just want to use this time wisely while I have it. I'll find gainful employment again - I'm just not sure if I should stay with what I know or take a risk and try something new.

Maybe even something totally new.

I'll treasure this time eventually someday. Maybe I'll be able to write about it then too.

Well, I guess that might work - as long as I don't continue to have this writer's block problem.

Observations on Valkyrie

This evening we went to see a movie that's been out for awhile. It will most likely be the last we go see until I am again gainfully employed.

The choice of our excursion was "Valkyrie". I left there sobbing.

If you aren't yet aware of the nature of the story, it is based upon the July 20 final attack attempt on Adolf Hitler toward the end of World War II. Colonel Stauffenberg joins and then leads the military members of a resistance to assassinate Hitler with the assistance of political allies within the Nazi party.

As we all know from history, they were sadly unsuccessful.

The movie was shot at several actual locations around Germany, including the Berghof, Hitler's palatial retreat home.

Though the scenery and costumery were stunning at times, I left there sobbing because of one thing.

Some days it seems we do not understand what true heroism actually is anymore. These men and women - politicians, military, and civilians - risked everything, EVERYTHING, to try and save their country and countrymen. They saw the evil for what Hitler was and knew they had to act to stand against it.

By their mere associations, much more their involvement, they knew they were putting their own lives and also their families' and friends' lives at stake. In the end they may have lost their lives, but they also gained so many more things that were vitally most precious. By standing against evil they regained their dignity, their honor, their pride, their country, their memory, and their souls.

How many politicians can claim that now days? How many of us would be willing to do the same if we were in similiar circumstances?

We look at our lives and think we are suffering. We think our days are full of evil.

What a mockery.

We don't know the meaning of sacrifice. We don't know the meaning of suffering.

And we have no clue what true evil really is.

Why else do we call a dying generation the greatest generation there ever was? Because they faced evil...and stood it down.

Before that generation is completely lost to our time, we need to do everything we can to learn from that history they hold.

Otherwise we are doomed to repeat it.